Direct Dil Se

February Agony

2012-02-03T00:41:00.004+05:30

Come February the month of love,

I go back into glimpses of the past

Whoever said that time heals everything

Didn't really know the pain of clinging.

Yet another year passes by,

With some old memories

Proving your deceitful existence

Beyond what my eyes can see.

Sometimes, just a glimpse of you,

In my dreams would suffice

But today its not a day of that kind

When I have logic on my mind.

Bedtime stories and tales of laughter,

Goodnight kisses and your sprouts of pamper

Bicycle rides and paths of sunshine

Are still safe in my heart's old mine.

Eight long years I count today,

Mocking me from the corners of my own eyes

They say, you have left for good

You are healthy, and in a happy mood.

I can only assume they are facts,

For, I know you miss me too

You see me from up above

And,as always shower me with love.

You

2012-01-21T20:40:00.004+05:30

So far away
Yet so near
So distant
Yet so clear.
A vision
Or a realization
Maybe just a dream.

You are here
But you aren't really there
I run
And run far away.
To search you
Or hide myself
From reality.

Is it true
Or a fallacy
I cannot decide
The way forward.
Life moves on
And I move along
Hoping to stumble upon you.

I believe
In Stories
And in fairy-tales
With happy endings.
Maybe it is time
To close the Pandora's box
Today and for everyday.

Hibernating Me

2011-11-20T23:29:00.004+05:30

Thanks Adi for reminding me that I have a blog to update.And since I have nothing to write and no inspiration whats-so-ever to cook up a story, here is what you wanted to read from me ;-) (I assume you and everyone else is interested to know each and every detail of the awesome life I have)

When I am not blogging, I am

Decorating my newly-found cute-little-apartment :)

Giving advice, even if no-one wants it

Watching an American Sitcom

Organizing and re-organizing my stuff.Maybe I'll start color-coding things now.You bet I can give serious competition to Monica Geller.

Sympathizing with friends who got married, and making them realize that there is more to life than being happy

Cooking, Eating, Facebook-ing, all at the same time

Wondering how some girls around me would continue to wear the shortest of skirts in-spite of Dilli-ki-sardi

Home-Alone enjoying being with myself

Attending Weddings. Marriage is a such a communicable disease I tell you.Given a choice, I would rather opt for chicken-pox , at-least, one can recover from it. :-P

Reading Fountainhead. God knows when I'll be able to finish

Reminding people not to mess with her-highness

Being too lazy to type

Bitching about random people

Enjoying Life

But, I better be back soon.All I need is a story.Oh, maybe the real come-back post is just round the corner.

To Do Or Not To Do

2011-08-11T16:39:00.004+05:30

That To-Do List is always unending. And if I keep my eyes and ears open, I can add a few more items to it, right now. Better, let go of it all,I think and close my eyes. But, even with closed eyes, I see the items in there, multiplying themselves like some computer virus.I console myself, yet again.And finally, gather the courage to look at it.I am sure it happens with each one of us.I am listing a few, very helpful techniques to conquer the blues and make the To-Do List evaporate in thin air! Here we go :-)

Why not prioritize the items,and start conquering them, one by one, in order of priority.

Divide and Rule-The age old technique which works wonders! Make a group of similar tasks and get going, before you get confused which one falls in which category!

Tell your folks that you can't come home for vacation as you have this huge list of tasks to finish.And before you know, half the list would be taken care of! Always works!

Put the Last In First Out method to good use.It would mean you don't have to memorize which item you chose, as I expect that you would at least remember the last mess you were in!

Take a few print outs and paste them anywhere and everywhere...So that it keeps haunting you, even in your happy place.Then, I am sure, you would not be able to neglect it as effortlessly as you are doing right now.

Crib about the tasks.And crib more. And some more, until someone shows some pity on you and offers help.When asked,shower them with the most boring ones, which you would not have taken up anyway!

Or maybe try the Shortest-Job-First thumb rule.This would at least diminish the count of tasks, so what if the important and bigger ones, will remain untouched!

Outsource!!!Bully some friends to take up a few items of their choice.Cmon you can give them that privilege of taking up the tasks which they want to- after all they are your best friends!

If you're a girl of my age, the best option would be to get married and take the list as dowry. Then it will take care of itself!

Do some programming and make an automated list in which items disappear when not being acted upon , for say , two days.I guess this would be the fastest way to (un)accomplish all the tasks!

The more you think about it, the more you want those tasks to be tackled by someone else. So, add another important item in the To-Do List which says -'Find Someone Who Can Do All These Tasks'

Sometimes, I wonder, if that To-Do List would have been a To-Buy List, then at-least girls would have loved it.But, alas, that is not the case and it remains a nightmare for most of us.We hate it, with all our heart.But, that doesn't really make any difference at all.It doesn't mind the hatred, and flashes a wicked smile back at us.We can't live with it, and can't live without it either.It is just like a love affair gone out of order!All said, and done, the question still remains - To Do Or Not To Do...

Wordless Wednesday

2011-07-27T23:26:00.002+05:30

Somewhere, in the forests of Karnala, this lone flower depicts my state of mind perfectly!

Last One Standing

Moody Me

2011-06-22T16:05:00.014+05:30

Is it really me?

Or is it the day gone by,

When relief is a far cry!

No, actually, it is only me.

Is it really me?

Or is it the shopping spree,

When I got a few things for free!

No, actually, it is only me.

Is it really me?

Or is it the uncomfortable ride,

When smelly strangers were by my side!

No, actually, it is only me.

Is it really me?

Or is it the good old rain,

When relieving the earth from its pain!

No, actually, it is only me.

Is it really me?

Or is it poorly cooked food,

When it spoils my mood!

No, actually, it is only me.

Is it really me?

Or is it that note from a friend,

When writing is not in trend!

No, actually, it is only me.

Is it really me?

Or is it the phone which didn't ring,

When all I did was waiting!

No, actually, it is only me.

Indeed it is me.

With all the mood swings,

Of joy and sadness it brings!

It is only me!

That Species Called Manager - Part 111

2011-06-09T18:04:00.141+05:30

It all began two years back, like this. Ever since, every now and then I get an unstoppable urge to crib about managers, but then I say - "Stop it, Akanksha, you have bigggggggggggggggger things to worry about, at the moment". Those bigger things once included, finding a job that could give me the most awaited chance to relocate to the city I love -Dilli,to find accommodation,to settle down,to stop missing the professionalism Infosys taught me, to find out how I could control the shopping sprees,meeting random guys for arranged marriage fiasco,pain in the a** landlord, house-hunting second time,weddings of few very(very) close friends at almost the same time(trust me, it is a disaster of the highest magnitude - deserves a dedicated post) So, now since all that is over(well, almost- and keeping fingers crossed for the acknowledgement from hell!)

I am back to cribbing about managers!!! And what a funny irony - I am doing this post from office!Following are a few relatively new species I encountered-

Perfection - Don't stare at me as if you are gonna eat me alive for mentioning this.Believe me, I too,always believed this species didn't exist.Not at least, in the real world scenario.It is as rare to encounter this species of managers as is finding a dinosaur in the 21st century.Nevertheless, I was lucky enough to find one.And I believe, this encounter is of once-in-a-lifetime kind.I know, I won't meet another one of this species, ever.Also, thank you, dear Perfect Manager, for being what you are, in this mad mad corporate world. We need more managers like you - to clear the mess all around.

Playboy - Do I need to elaborate? Bollywood movies would testify to the existence of this species but I have seen a few too.The magnitude of 'playboy characteristics' varies from one member of the species to another.But married, or single makes no real difference actually.This one loves to get all the attention from subordinates of the opposite sex and showers them with favors in return.This species can be easily spotted flirting, at the workspace.My advice to all - stay as far away from the species as possible as the favors you might get, might land you in trouble someday.

Lipstick -This species is of the fairer sex only.She becomes a manager, by getting lots of favors from the 'Playboy' species, in return of her services.The flick Pyaar ka Punchnama discovered this species so go watch the movie, for further explanations, as I haven't really encountered this one in real life, yet.But ,in no way do I condemn their existence.

Harmless,but dangerous - This is a species which looks so meek at the first instant.But looks are deceptive.As an individual, this species, is really harmless.But, as we all know, there are so many creatures around us, which influence us in ways, more than we would like to believe.This is one species, who gets influenced by the those scary creatures(generally, subordinates)without much of effort.And then, as mutual understanding between the creature and the manager builds up, he becomes a threat to people like you and me(who, once believed, this was a harmless species) Suddenly, the manager loses,his so called rational attitude and becomes a puppet in the hands of the creature.And that , for sure , is a risk, we never calculated!

Adding a Dilbert strip for you guys.Can you figure out the species here?

Khana Khazana

2011-05-16T15:29:00.014+05:30

Yours truly invited a bunch of friends for dinner.No occasion in particular, I just wanted to celebrate the bond we shared.How much those people meant to me, can be judged by the fact that, it was a full working day.And I spared them no choice.They better come or else I wouldn't talk to them for at least a week. Considering the talkative girl I was, not speaking to them would have been more of a punishment to me, rather than any of them.

Another time, I gave into the craving for the delicious Aalu-Tikki and decided to try my hands on it.It was a sudden desire to indulge in authentic North Indian(read Delhi) chaat.Pune was always a great place to live, but I sure missed those road-side street vendors so much that once I even decided to go on a very long hiatus as far as the Maharashtrian version of chaat was concerned.And, at the end of a three month hibernation, I obliged myself, dear old roomies, bro and his roomies with a delicacy only they can tell you about!

One fine day, Shrish got a brilliant idea! When you are the oldest among the group of people, you hang out with, you got to be proactive and act a bit too cool to keep their interests in you.So, this idea might be one of those attempts to be accepted by the youngsters, right Shrish :P And sharing the idea over a quick and crisp e-mail was the way forward.'Monday' was 'The Day' ,and, for a change, I was looking forward to it, without any Monday blues.A Monday without Monday blues was non existent for me and it still is. That Monday, was an exception in true sense of the word.I started the preparations on Saturday itself, by buying carrots and other things. A group of around 15 people (mostly girls and a few guys) got together for lunch on Monday, with home-cooked food at the office food-court which boasted of hundreds of cuisines from around the country! And our food was better than those make-belief chefs they hired! I chose to make a lavish dessert only because I had no idea what else to make.Also, I was craving for it since some time, but FYI, I don't really have a sweet tooth.My home-made-in-8-hours-gajar-ka-halva stole the show!:-) It was an Eternal Bliss!

Weekend cooking was always fun with Sailaja , Snig and Narin. There were always more than a handful of people to enjoy the great food with.Company matters as much as the food itself. Those delicacies would not have been as great, if we all didn't have fun while making them or sharing them with all the regular and irregular visitors, who most of the times,were asked to bring along a few ingredients which we forgot to get or kept for last minute buying routines! But, there is one regret I have, I really wanted Sailaja and Narin to meet sometime and cook for me!That is a wild wild imagination as Sailaja was here only coz Narin had moved out.Food was something over which we all bonded, more than anything else!Neither of us could stand food cooked poorly. And we always made an exception - here, too many cooks never spoilt the broth.Never ever. It always got better and bigger. :-)

Good food always cheers me up, no matter what! You see me sad, treat me with delicious food, and I'll be fine! But the only condition is, the great food should keep coming, to keep me distracted...Life has not been a cakewalk since I landed in Delhi and I have almost forgotten the love I had for putting together a meal for the near and dear ones(or maybe doing it just to get appreciated!) Once in a while, I bounce back and get excited over it. But it doesn't last. Last week, there was not much work at office, so clicking some random links brought me to a few awesome food blogger's kitchens and I absolutely loved what they did.And thanks to them, for the inspiration that I am writing this post!But then,I realized my love for good food is not as much the love for food, as it is the love for sharing it with friends and bullying them to say a few words in appreciation!

As someone said, not every girl is a good cook, but, you are one of the few good ones!And someone else,finds refuge in my cooking, because not every girl is a good cook.Thank you, someone else, for always appreciating, and not complaining, even if it turns to be a disaster at times.Dear Another Someone, I miss not being in 'our' kitchen anymore :( And Yet Another Someone, I tried one of your mango-something-recipe, and it turned out to be as good as yours, and once again, I went dreaming of good old days...

If you want me to prove it, you are welcome for a treat! But, the only condition is, I need people around me to get the best out of me.Otherwise, just a bowl of maggi is fine for me.

P.S.
You might have to catch up on some ingredients which I may have forgotten.So, remember to give me a call and ask if you need to buy me something before you land!

Jhutha Hee Sahi

2011-03-02T11:00:00.011+05:30

I am not angry.I just knew it was coming and I took this one pretty well as I have become immune to all the lies.You have been lying to me so much, that now, no matter how much you try to cover it, I just know that it is a cold blooded lie! After all I still am someone,who knows you in-out.And, experience(of living all those lies) pays!!!

P.S.

Nothing happened.Everything is fine. I am just, in midst of redefining a very old friendship by accepting the fact that it doesn't exist anymore.

That bitch called Life!

2011-01-29T18:29:00.005+05:30

My life officially sucks, at the moment. I am sad. A bit too sad.I was let down by someone very close to me. Things are not fine,even at the work front.And, I realized that someone was lying to me big time.Nothing cheers me up. It is just one gloomy day after another.I live alone.(literally, as the girl I share the flat with, works in an odd timing shift,and we hardly see each other during the week.During the weekends, she doesn't come home)

Suddenly, all the friends seem to have vanished.Everyone is busy getting married or having kids or relocating down south.There were times when I used to think that coming back to Delhi would be the best thing that could ever happen to me. But, sad to say, that I was wrong.Really wrong.I have a big problem, with everything and everyone around me. I don't usually talk nicely to people now a days. I am cranky all the time. Just like a volcano waiting to erupt.Filled up to the brim and waiting to let lose.

My landlord is a middle aged man who wants me to come to his place and give him the rent in cash every month, as if I have nothing better to do.Whatever happened to the online banking facility.I am paying a huge rent, for this just okay,kind of apartment.The neighbors are a pain in the ass. I want to hunt another apartment, but have no time for that.Plus, a lonely girl, roaming around with property dealers is not such a good idea in NCR.

Forget about the nights, my days are turning dark.Shopping provides no solace.It is just the visa bills that are getting bigger. Bigger, is not better.Chocolates are a temporary remedy.Friends - they come and go.There is just one thing that still makes me feel better - Sleep. The only remedy.But as soon as I wake up from one of the dreams, reality bites me hard in the face.As Calvin says, Reality continues to ruin my life.

With all that, and much more pain inside me, I have to attend two weddings, of people closest to me, and put a brave front by smiling all through.Sometimes, my own sadness overshadows the fact that I am really happy for other people.And then guilt takes over.I haven't even started shopping for the weddings, like my old self.I just don't feel like it.

I am still trying to adjust in a (relatively) small company environment although it has been half a year I since I joined.Everyday, the itch to switch, is getting worse.But again, I just don't have enough time or energy to do something about it.In a place as unsafe as Noida, I return home after 9 p.m., every single day and that too,to an empty apartment which haunts me like anything.I am working 12 hours a day,with a bossy and demanding client, in a crappy project that wouldn't end for another 8 months.

P.S.

In case you are thinking of calling me after reading this,DON'T MAKE THAT CALL.JUST DON'T.Sympathies, or Pravachans, are not welcome anymore.Comments are okay, as they might make me feel better.

Delhi Diaries

2010-11-11T21:19:00.004+05:30

Finally, I got the time and energy to return.This is a long overdue post, but, better late than never.

Life in Delhi is a rollercoaster.I have literally been 'on-my-toes' since the day I landed here.But, it is not what I had imagined it to be. Sometimes, I feel it is much much better and sometimes I feel I shouldn't have taken the decision to relocate.I still am not at peace with myself, as there are n number of things disturbing my equilibrium.

There are moments when I am really really happy and moments when I am really really sad. Somehow, I have not been able to attain a balance between the extremes yet.Life is changing every single day.Maybe it is the 'Dilli' factor or maybe, personally, I am at such a point in life.Or is it the quarter-life-crisis? I don't know, I really don't.

Happiness comes in splashes.I am happy when I see an invitation to the Annual-Day dinner , at my college and the fact that I can plan to go (Every year, I received the invitation and got sad about not being able to attend), I am happy when I feel the cold winds, the temperature dripping. I am happy when I eat(anything and everything), I am so happy when I shop, I am happy for friends who have found love and for those too, who'll soon be entangled in wedlock.I am happy with the fact that I can catch a train home, anytime I want and still it would not cost me 10K bucks.I am happy when I have gol-gappe instead of pani-puri which sucked big time.I am happy that the weather keeps changing.I am happy that I am within easily approachable distance from near and dear ones.I am happy that Delhi still rocks! I am happy that I took the decision to come back.I am happy that Delhi is a second hometown for me.I am just plain happy.

But, letting go, has never been my cup of tea and I always cling to people and things I love.This was supposed to be my world,and now that finally I have made it my own, I sometimes really miss the one which I have left behind.And then, I again need one of those splashes of happiness to bring me to the real life.Thankfully, someone or the other sprinkles those on me and I am back to being my chirpy self!:)

Life Comes Full Circle

2010-09-06T23:04:00.007+05:30

It was no more than a sudden urge to pen down what was going inside me.And as always, I succombed to my instinct, and started Direct Dil Se, almost 3.5 years back.I never knew, that I would stick around, for such a long time.I was pretty sure that, it would just be a recycle-bin of my thoughts and I would abandon it much sooner than later.I was enjoying blogging that time, but deep down,I knew that it would not continue for long.Neither did I imagine, that I would post a '100th' post someday!

For the sake of mentioning, This is how it began(This is not a kind of a post, I would write, today...I was obsessed with sms-lingo, 3.5 years back.But thankfully, I overcame that, only through this blog).I have mentioned Infosys Technologies Ltd many times, and today, I admit that it is one of the reasons this blog came into existance.As I realise that, I also realise that Infosys has shaped me, personally and professionally, in more ways than I can count.I hereby declare,that, Direct Dil Se is a by-product of the waiting period of 6 months, that I got along with the Infosys Offer-Letter.

Time flew off, and I got my date of joining with Infosys.By that time,I had made many friends in the blogsvillie, and I was already thinking how would I survive without reading their updates, and posting mine( I knew I would be having so much to update about the heaven called Infosys,Mysore Campus which I was going to enter)

Yours truly started her corporate life and was treated like a Princess at Infosys,Mysore.But, as corporate life took a front seat,a few posts came, now and then, but most of the time this space was desserted.A come-back every few months and then again a bye-bye-till-we-meet-again.

Infosys chapter is over now, and I can say life has come full circle,with this 100th post here.I was still, an Infoscion, when I wrote the 99th post.(Although, dil se, I will always remain one)

Many of you inquired, why did I delete the Last-Day-At-Infosys post.Well, I did that because I wanted it to be special.And that moment I did not have the time, this post deserved.So, today, here it comes! What better way to do a century of posts, than to thank the wonderful people, who made my stay at Infosys, worthwhile.

I wrote a few Last-Day-At-Infosys mails, to different sets of people, but the one I am going to paste below, is the one which addresses people who are(and will always be) most dear to me -

"As I type this mail, a mixed bag of emotions churn inside me. I had dreamt of writing a ‘Last Day At Infy’ mail so many times, but never had I imagined that it would be such a tough task. Today, I realize how lucky I am, to have friends like you, who have made, saying goodbye, so hard. It really hurts a lot to leave ,because, perhaps, our souls are connected.

I never actually believed that friendships could blossom at a workplace. And this belief was reinforced at my first project. Oh stop me here itself, I don’t want to crib about night-shifts and two faced managers right now.( I hereby declare that I forgive them all, as their feedback has reached the HR in exit interview) It was in CMEWAPPS that I realized that one can have friends in the same cubicle! And that is what would make me miss you all so much more:(

I have had some wonderful moments here, with some really amazing people around me. As I gather the memories and leave, for(hopefully) greener pastures, I secretly wish I had some more time with all of you. Each one of you, is special is his/her own way and would always be in my thoughts, wherever I go.

Pramila, Thank you so much for being a great friend rather than a lead, for covering me whenever I came late, for those grapes you got for lunch, for making the transition from testing to development a smooth trail for me, for always being there :)

Manisha, You have been a constant source of inspiration, especially in the last few days;-) Although we never worked together, but having you around was always a pleasure. I never came to know when the ice broke between us, but I am really happy it did .In you, I found someone who could guide me to deal with that species , called “Boss’s Boss”. Teasing Mrinal was the ultimate time pass and I know you enjoyed it as much as I did – Maybe that was something which broke the ice! Common interests, you see:)

Gaurav, Today, I am going to fulfill your long term wish. When I first saw you, the only thought that ran across my mind was ‘ OMG, this guy looks so much like my ex-boyfriend’ :P So, now you know!!! You have been a great friend, and a source of never ending support. I wish you were here, during my last days at Infy. I miss you lots whenever I plan to take the 5 o clock bus:( Things are not the same since you left, and I really wish that some-one had a magic wand to restore everything to that state. I wish…

Aapke spikes ke liye ‘aayush-mann-bhava’. Needless to say, I just love them!

Rashi, I don’t know when the transition from neighbors to friends happened. But whenever it did, it made a huge lot of difference. I have had very few ‘girl’ friends in Infy and you are one of them:)From the random piece of advice, to silly girl talk, you were always there. You are the best neighbor I ever had! I won’t be here when you leave, but my best wishes would always be with you.

Shrish, I thank God that he made our paths cross and I found someone for whom I have unmatched respect. You are the ‘must-have’ friend, philosopher & guide! You are glue which makes us all stick together. And I am sure you would succeed in the secret mission. I can’t keep myself from saying once again ‘Please take a lifetime sim before you start the journey so that we can stay connected’. A big bear hug from my side, along with a small Thank you, which can’t match all that you do for us:) Thoda gyaan dena hai mujhe abhi, please don’t skip your meals and don’t drink tea for lunch. Aur kisi sunder kanya ko seva ka mauka do:)

Mrinal, You irritated me more than ever. There were times , when I wished that you take a leave so that I could have a peaceful day. But, my prayers were seldom answered:( Were your n girlfriends not enough , that you still had the time and energy to irritate me? You are someone who made me cry and smile , both at the same moment! Thank you for being a wonderful friend. I really miss you being around as there is no one to irritate me or give me fashion tips:P . It is that moment when we randomly committed to ourselves, that we would quit Infy before completion of FC-3, which gave me inspiration to move ahead in life. I would surely give you a call whenever I go to KP( or any other similar place in Delhi), promise:)

Shobhit, Thanks for being my savior,not once, but twice! :) And for all the tips and tricks which made both work, and life, easier! There are some people who touch your life in a special way and you are one of them. Although I didn’t get a chance to spend a lot of time with you, but whatever little time we had together, I know I will always have a friend and a technical-guru in you:)

Vaibhav, First of all, Thank you so much, as it is because of you that I came to know about CMEWAPPS, otherwise I would have wasted another year cribbing in the CTT mess. I still remember that lazy Sunday afternoon at Mysore when we first met. You were one of those few, who continued to stick with me even after the training. Thanks for the support, which you showered on me, in various forms:)

Salleen, It is strange that we were not friends while we were in the same team:P But I am glad, that I found you. You’re a soul so pure, and a mind so creative! My partner in crime of all sorts, I would not have had a perfect 9.15 for this quarter, without you! You were my only inspiration for not leaving before 6, during these last days. Thanks to you, there were days when I didn’t get time for TOI even!!!! :D You’re someone I would love to take along with me, but Infy won’t let meL So, come back to Delhi soon and we would have lots and lots of fun.

Pawan, I love your status messages on facebook!!!! Sometimes, I feel you converse in those one-liners while in office too! Please continue to bug me the way you do now, coz AD just loves it!

(And since, PA1 wanted some more lines, here I go)

I wish we had interacted more, then I would have arranged for you, a meeting with my imaginary friend;-) I loved, being around you, as it was always so much fun.I miss those conversations we used to have on communicator...I really miss the friend I had in you...

I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. So, maybe, it is not the end yet, as it is not perfect"

I now leave myself,with glimpses of the times gone by, hoping that I can have a sweet-dream and meet you all, together, in those old cubicles, once again.

P.S.

For those, who were wondering, what made me quit Infy, I would only say that I had to make this compromise, some-time in life and I chose to make it 2 months back, on July 2nd 2010.

This last day mail doesn't include some very important people, who made my journey in Infy a long-lasting one - Bhaiya, Aanchal, and my roomies - Narin, Snigdha, Sailaja deserve a separate post.

Relocating!

2010-06-29T00:22:00.008+05:30

Time has almost come, to implement the plan. Something,that was the top item in my wish-list is becoming a reality, very soon! Just a handful of days to count, and yours truly would relocate to Delhi. Still, it is kind of, unbelievable that it is happening.

But, believe me, relocating is real tough job! If it wasn't for the fact that I am going back to where I belong, I would have been irritated, annoyed and what not. I am a kind of person who needs to have all of those small small things, in place, where ever I live. And that is the reason why,in these 2.5 years in Pune, I have developed a small 'grahsti' of my own. But, the fact that its Delhi calling me, I don't mind leaving all of those behind.

I won't be able to post any updates for some time now. But, would love to see some comments every time I login using my cellphone. Till the time I come back,I would be leaving Pune but taking memories and friendships along, attending a friend's wedding, hunting for a new place to settle down and call it my own, and of-course applying for a broadband connection. I would be back as soon as I get one! Till then, keep the comments flowing!

I'll miss reading all your blogs:( But, I'll be gone for a short while and before you know, I'll be back again!(Hopefully!)

The Ultimate Project Plan

2010-05-27T23:09:00.017+05:30

Take a taxi from the airport.

Meet old friends

Finally, have some chaat. It has been 6 months that you have been away from it.

The new life begins. Hunt for accommodation.

Decide, whether it should be a saree or a lehgna.You have a week's time for making this decision.

Its Saturday, head straight to chandni chowk, after all you don't have much time left, Aks

Take Bhanu/Bro along, subject to who-so-ever agrees first to the torture you would bestow on him. You don't have a girl-friend who would have loved to come, So don't waste time in brooding over it. Just have fun by seeing the guys reactions, when you try n number of dresses!

Take as much time as you want, to select the perfect dress.You deserve it,afterall it has been ages since you shopped without a strict timeline in Delhi!

Don't forget to have some yummy chole-kulche while you are at chandni-chowk.

Its time to go to Karol-Bagh on Sunday.I hope you get the perfect footwear and jewellery!

Monday blues:(I hope you are done with the shopping coz now you don't have time left.

By now, Please decide on the dwelling you have chosen for yourself and start packing your things.I hope you haven't unpacked everything in the first place.After all it was just a temporary accommodation.

Keep the spirits high, even if you start missing some things or some people. You have got what you wanted.So, enjoy!

Thursday night is the time to apply mehndi.Don't listen to any of the guys.Head straight to hanumaan-mandir,even if you have to stay back at Karol bagh with mama-mami and catch an early morning bus, the next day.

Take some rest. It is already time to get dressed.

Don't have any double minds about the way you look. It has to be awesome!

Seeing them together, would be an eternal bliss.May God bless you both.Love you!

Come out of the dream world on Saturday morning. Wake up, you have to vacate the hotel room.

Pack, and then unpack. Sunday over!

Real life at Delhi begins.

Life is really beautiful!

Dream or Nightmare?

2010-04-17T01:03:00.007+05:30

A distant dream it always was

But never so far away,

Juggling between past and present

As I am today

I had visions of success

Of achievements that demanded sacrifice

Decisions which were tough to take

Those which could alter my life

Things changed for better

And I started living the dream

It was a roller coaster ride

I was flowing with the stream

But today, I realise yet again

That I am not supposed to be here

That I have come too far

Chasing something I could have found there

I've come full circle

At least, I assume I really have

Which is why I want to

Start afresh from my grave

It ain't easy as you think

I have to gather bit by bit

Pieces of today, tomorrow and yesterday

Fallen apart from my kit

Before I settle down

And the realisation vanishes again

I have to muster courage
And emerge out from the pain

Rang Barsey

2010-03-02T22:38:00.006+05:30

I am on a vacation these days and I had made a pact with myself that I would remain as far away as possible from this evolving adaptation of the original 'idiot box'.I am enjoying a lot being at home and the best part is that I do not have to force myself to go office.There was a special purpose behind planning to visit home during this time of the year. As per speculation at my work place, I would come back with a box of sweets and an engagement ring.But alas,what they would be getting is just sweets.

Anyways, what brings me back to the keyboard in-spite of the self imposed distance from the world wide web( Before you people tell me that you are still getting updates from me on orkut and facebook, I would want to let you people know that the amount of time I spend on social networking is just for adding pics so that you people can enjoy them and I get an illusion of still being connected)is the fact that I had such a great time yesterday.It was after a span of 4 years that I was at home for Holi. It was a day of friends,family and fun.

Holi is one Indian festival which most girls think is disgusting.After all,whats the point of getting all messy and wet and then later spend hours cleaning up.But somehow, I have loved Holi since time I could remember.Get wet and colorful, visit friends (for a change you don't have to worry about how you are looking, because this day, the worst you look, the more attention you get),have wonderful home-made sweets and let your foot lose to the dhol.After years of hibernation, yesterday I made sure I enjoy the fullest.

I still remember,many years ago,I could not sleep in excitement one night prior to Holi.I would start thinking so many days before Holi, which dress to wear on the The Day -the one which I would want to part with after all the mess that I was going to be a part of.I was always so happy about the cooking that my mom had to do as a part of preparations.I wanted to help her in-spite of my exams going on.I was so dedicated in helping her out that my mom had to device a secret formula according to which she would do all the cooking when I was not at home.Poor mom and her tactics.But she always succeeded in keeping me out of her kitchen.

I used to be the one girl who was not scared of the effects of color on her skin or getting drenched in paint for that matter.While boys expected tantrums from me, they got open arms and lots of color on them.I was by far, the best they could have got! School would open in two days time and then there would be a competition on who had the most amazing time even during exams.The only proof of fun one could give was that you still have some color on your face in-spite of all efforts of removing it.Even though sometimes, the color goes off in just one bath, I made sure I don't remove it all as a testimony to the amount of fun I had and how much I loved the festival.

None of those things happened this time.Still it was a memorable day.I had fun getting drenched and now I leave you with some pics of the amazing time I had.I know what is going on in your mind.This time, I had no competitors so and I managed to remove all that color successfully! Well, almost;)

P.S.
Unfortunately, the H-R Department of my company doesn't believe that they should let people enjoy and have fun.I am deeply saddened for those who could not go home and were sitting in secure areas and doing nothing as their minds were some place else:(More cribbing on that later.

Awesome Threesome

Bridal-Make-up

Yippee!!! We managed to meet for Holi!

The Gang Of Girls!

Pehchaan Kaun!

Mehndi Ni Mehndi!

Mehndi Hai Rachne Vali,,Haathon Me Gehri 'Kaali'

My Toli

Rang Barsey!


Beyond Recognition!

Missing You..

2010-02-03T21:46:00.009+05:30

Today is the 6th death anniversary of my beloved grand-dad. And I can't help missing him more than ever:'(

This one is for you, dadajee!

I wish I could be with you
For just another moment
To let you know how much you're missed
Each day ever since :(

You are there with me
Yet my eyes can't see you
I believe you're watching me
From where God sent you

Chilhood storytales and
Bicycle rides are no more
But memories have survived
Inside my core

I remember being pampered
In every way possible
Just so that you could see
A smile from me

A few years have passed
But it seems like yesterday
That I used to have you
Beside me everyday

Things have changed
And I am no more a li'l girl
I wonder what you would tell me today
If only I could hear what you have to say

I wish I could be with you
For just another moment
To let you know how much you're missed
Each day ever since :(

Its All About Money, Honey

2010-01-19T00:41:00.005+05:30

After a long day at work, I stopped by to buy some vegetables along the way home.There is no such thing as a 'seasonal vegetable' in this side of the county.We get all the vegetables, all through the year! It is nice, but still, in some strange ways, I don't find it nice at all.Similar kind of weather, whole year through makes life mundane to some-one like me.Anyways, I don't intend to crib about Pune in this post(as this deserves a whole new dedicated post, which I would do sometime later!)

With two bags full of veggies(to suffice for a week), I was walking and thinking, thinking and walking.It is a two minute walk to my home from where the office bus drops me, and these are the only moments I get to ponder over. As S said, once the corporate journey starts, you are entangled in the web of 'chavannis and atthannis' and those are the only things you think about:(

As I proceed, I see toddlers enjoying a ride in their prams, kids playing, Moms screaming at them to complete their home-work, old couples taking an evening stroll, college-going lads 'bird watching' , calorie conscious girls jogging, ladies gossipping, and some other people like me rushing to their homes after work,all of them are in a strange kind of hurry.

Not a very long time ago, I was on the other side. I remember how I used to enjoy during the evening and overlook people returning home from office, thinking how boring and dull their life is, as they don't get to do what they want to, but have to work the whole day.I overlooked as I unconsciously knew I never wanted to be in their place.

I was always the one who was playing silly games, or chatting with buddies, or gossiping over the latest buzz in the colony, or enjoying the last moments with friends in a DTC bus before we reach home,while the office going species was getting irritated over traffic jams which I was enjoying coz they gave me some more time to have fun!

I was always the kid or the adoloscent enjoying her thing and watching(read pitying) the people whom I saw returning from their work places, tired(and still in a hurry), irritated(and still pretending to be fine), tensed( and still thinking about work)

Today, I am one of those people.I do all of those things, and somehow, I believe that all the kids watching me feel the same, that they never want to be in my place -That their world is a happier place. Mine was.

And then I mutter to my own self, "Its All About Money, Honey!"

Over, Forver

2009-10-03T01:28:00.003+05:30

Down memory lane

A silly game

Frocks and frill

Wow,Picnics uphill

Pocket money
And milk with honey

School uniforms
Strange uneditable norms

Dad's Barbie
Thats me

Summer vacation
A fun filled portion

Mom made cakes
For birthdays

Pillow fights
And colourful kites

A few friends
Storybooks to lend

For homework
Candy as a perk

And waiting since
To enter adulthood province

Slowly and Steadily
A different reality

Alas, it is over
Forever

An Abstract Friendship - 55 Fiction

2009-09-13T00:48:00.004+05:30

'Friends Forever', She once believed!

But alas, it was only her side of the story...Since the time she could remember, she was treated like an outsider.But every effort was made so that she doesn't come to know.More often than not, she realised it, but overlooked just for the sake of friendship that never really existed.

Life In Numbers

2009-08-30T16:44:00.015+05:30

I stole this tag from Americanising Desi. Tags always come to rescue when you dont have anything to write ;) So, here I go! Here is my life in numbers :D

1- Birth date and Birth Month of my bro, who was the cutest thing in my life once upton a time-A full time toy that I enjoyed playing with,few years back.And now, a typical guy who always has something or the other to teeze me with,who can never keep his room clean,and posesses every damn charecteristic of guys that I can't tolerate.Sigh

2-Delhi is not my home-town but a Second Home for me :) It is a place where I don't have to worry about accomodation or arrangements or anything else,doesn't matter which time of the year I plan to visit.

3-I love the third month, coz it brings along my favourite Indian festival, Holi.

4-I am going to visit Hyderabad,4 weeks later.

5-I was "Roll No 5" during school days....Good old days...

6-Is there something called sixth sense? Really?

7-I could not understand Chemistry when I was in 7th Standard :(
8-I like this number from time I can remember for no specific reasons as such.I don't know why I like it.
9-I really want to experience how does it feel being on Cloud Nine...Waiting for my turn though.
10-I have a 10 year old cousin whom I love soooooooooooo much!

11-My grand-dad used to say, Using 11 no. bus to travel (i.e. using our two feet)is a good exercise.

12-Some years back, this month gave me a really special gift which I'll treasure for the rest of my life!

13-It is not unlucky, it is the date I was born.(It was a friday too!)

14-Nothing that I can remember now.

15- Reminds me of Aug,15th. Do I need to elaborate?

I tag everyone who wants to take this tag! Enjoy!!!!

That Species Called Manager-Part 2

2009-07-04T00:10:00.008+05:30

Well,I know a few people who were waiting for this post since long.So,here it comes.I explore new heights with my thesis on creatures call 'Managers', which would still be going on after am done with finishing this post.

Each Manager is a specimen its own and may fall into one or more categories simultaneously.I have come accross a few more categories during the past few weeks.But each one, equally divastating.

I know but I wont tell you- These are managers who won't let the cat out of the bag.They love keeping cats(their's or not)at some place that is out of reach of the common man.At any damn cost, they would hide all information that you need or don't need to know,even if it affects you in ways more than one.I've never seen a woman manager of this kind.It may be because of the inability of women to keep secrets without damaging their digestive systems.

Nobody can please me - The name says it all...No matter what you do, they are there to find a fault in somethng that is 100% correct.I believe they don't have the word "perfect" in their dictionary.Or they erased it to use it as a wepon of torture.

Lull before the Storm - This kind is a dangerous one.They do the damage silently.Working with one of them is like slow poisoning.You would not even come to know that they are causing any harm coz they do it speechlessly.But slowly and steadily,they are moving towards their goal and you hardly know what they might be upto.

Anonymous - To be precise, you would never be able to figure out which species they belong to.They have many shades and it is just impossible to classify them into one category.They are found in abundance everywhere.They are most harmful of all because they are more unpredictable than you can imagine.They may possess some characteristic properties of all other kinds of managers.This species is most difficult to identify.

Please note that Part -3 of this post may come anytime I find another species to add to this list ;)

Untitled

2009-06-21T11:54:00.015+05:30

Circumstanes change, people change and you change.But ,what if you start missing terribly,the 'old' you and the set of people that made you what you were, sometime back?

Someday,you get up and realise that those people who constructed your past, are now, just a small part of your present.Suddenly, you realise that everyone around you right now,are the people who are constructing your present.And you hate them all? They don't value you and maybe thats why even you don't value them.

Another set of people,are those who were a part of your past, and are much more a part of your present.But, they have changed more than you could ever imagine.They are the same people and you love them like earlier, but there is something different now.And that something,you are unable to understand.You are unable to figure it out after days of brainstorming.At the end, you are helpless and accept them the way they are now, for the fear of letting them go takes over.You are helpless and hurt,and more than confused,You can't figure out what went wrong...And the confusion continues till you move ahead in life,leaving such people behind.For now,you seem to be alone.Life is not exactly what you had imagined it to be.People change faster than climate changes now a days.

Akanksha, stop expecting from people around you.And face the reality they are showing you every now and then, You don't matter to them.For God's sake ,stop believing that you do.It is not the way it used to be,no one is there to listen.Don't shed tears,they are hardly noticed.

An Ideal Sunday!

2009-06-14T22:11:00.009+05:30

June 14,2009

12:00 - It is too early to get up...Today's a Sunday!

13:00 - Oh, I just realised I am not on a hunger strike, I should get up to EAT!

13:15 - Maggi comes to rescue!

13:30 - Oh, I should sleep again.Sunday comes only once in a week :(

13:30 - This kind of a phone call

13:45 - Nind udd gayi

14:00 - Oh damn...why can't I sleep now?

14:30 - Lost in dreams again.

14:45 - Solving the mystrey 'Jane Vo Kaisa Hoga Rey'

15:00 - You're still sleeping, Get up and get ready fast.

15:01 - Ummmmm, Let me sleep

16:00 - Everyone asleep.

17:05 - Pushed out of bed,Sheets thrown aside.

17:15 - Rushed to take a quick bath.

17:30 - There is nothing better than a shower on a hot,lazy, sunday afternoon.

17:40 - Its a myth that girls take hours to get ready, it took me just a few minutes, And I am ready for the show!

17:45 - Off we go for the most exciting sport of all times - Shoping! :D

18:00 - Reached.

18:02 - Do I really need this bag, Oh yes I do...Oh no, I don't. It is
such a tough decision...God, help me.

18:05 - It is not too expensive, so I definitly need it. End of Discussion.

18:30 - Earrings. Blue, Black,Orange,Green,Yellow,Pink.Thats all.

18:50 - Oh Still there are a lot of shops left that I have to check out, and I am hungry already.Lets just have some Chaat first and then continue with our mission.

19:00 - Make it spicy...We like it that way!

19:15 - Lets check out the place across the street...I just realised I need a pair of ballerinas.

20:00 - Oh this place is great! I'll take two.Afterall, we don't know when would we come here again.

20:15 - I guess we're done for today.Lets just go home now.

20:20 - Hey did you see that top on the mannequin...Lets go in and have a quick look.

20:30 - I never thought I would end up buying three tops in just 10 minutes.We're coming back next weekend for sure!

20:35 - Lets search for a decent place to have some food.

20:38 - Oh I know a place that serves amazing Chinese nearby...We're going there.

20:45 - Hmmm...the service is fast...And the food is yummmm.

21:00 - Here comes the bill.

21:01 - Anyone for dessert? There is a famous ice-cream parlour that is 5 mins walk from here.

21:10 - I've been here..this place is just too good for words...Try for yourself and for once, forget about the calories;)

21:30 - Lets go home...Tommorow is Monday.Sob Sob :'(

Final Destination

2009-05-24T17:56:00.001+05:30

It was a big day.All of them had sucessfully completed a long and rigrous training and today was the day they had been waiting for since a long time.A batch of trainees, was now ready to say goodbye to campus of dreams and set their first foot in the real life corporate world.It was indeed a very big day for each of them.

She had got up ealier than usual today.Rather, she had hardly slept the last night.This was her last night in this room where she had spent last few months.This room had seen her struggle hard, seen her laugh, seen her cry ,and it had been a kind of a silent spectator to all that was going on inside her through these last 6 months.

It was a bright sunny Sunday morning and there was unusual activity throughout the campus.She had seen this earlier when other bacthes left for their location of posting, but then it had never affected her so much.Today, she was a part of the batch that was supposed to leave.Today was an end of the an era of dreams,marking the beginning of a new life where she would put to practice, everything she had learnt in this heaven.

There wasn't any doubt that she was waiting for this day since long.But she had never thought that it would be so painful to leave.It was today that she realised that the people around her were not just colleauges but friends.Each one mattered so much, and parting with those who unknowingly beacme so much a part of her life was difficult than all those code snippets she dreaded during the training period.From complete strangers to best of friends, but no one hardly knew how it happened and that too in such a short span of time.

Anyhow, soon it was time for everyone to leave.It was time so say good byes. :( The buses started off, carrying them to distant destinations,to places where they would all start their corporate careers.With mixed feelings, they left the heaven, and started dreaming about the realities that were awaiting them.

But no one had dreamt that it was the last time they were seeing her.Her bus met with an accident and she was one of the five who did not survive.No one had imagined such an end to the journey.

P.S. This is not a piece of fiction.Unfortunately, Dreams were shattered into pieces and they never reached their destinations.For details, click here.

May their souls rest in peace and may god give enough strength to their families to deal with such a huge loss.A huge black cloud was observed ,only over the Global Education Centre(where training for freshers takes place) at Infosys,Mysore on May 23rd 2009 , as if mother nature was mourning what had happened.

Cute Blogger

2009-05-18T23:26:00.010+05:30

This one is a long forgotten tag...But, better late than never. Cutie Pie Preetilata awarded me with 'Cute Blogger' award and along with it came a tag to write why am I cute.Thanks a ton for the award dear, I pass it on to you again!

So, here I go with my cute list.I bet I am high on 'Cute Quotient'

1-I finally took up this tag.

2-I am the 'chhotu baby' of my gang of college friends!

3-My stuffies are a part of my real world.I can't live wthout them and I always have room for more! If you wanna send me one,just drop me a mail;-)

4-I like lakes and hills and mountains more than I like multiplexes and malls and pubs.

5-Look at me (battling eye lashes and giving you a smile too), Can you really say no to anything I ask? I bet u can't!

6-I can't drive! And I accept it.(But I am not proud of it)

7-I've been told that I put the cutest status messages on my office communicator:-)

8-Chocolates are my best friends, rather than diamonds.

9-I fantasize Amol Palekar of 'Rajnigandha' to be my man! Love that movie :D (I wish I meet him soon)

10-My orkut pics confirm that I m cute ;) :P

I pass on this award to Dream Catcher,Richa, Mads, Sameera ,Dew Drop and Abhishek.

Enjoy!!!!

A Frequent Phone Call - My Side Of Conversation

2009-04-11T18:41:00.008+05:30

Oh I am not ready yet,
Why don't you let me rest?

Day in and day out,
Its the only thing you talk about.

Twenty three or twenty four,
Or maybe a few months more.

I know I am growing old,
Still I don't want you to buy me gold.

Who has the time for beauty treatment,
I am not going for guy procurement.

Let your guys wait in queue,
I am too good to be their virtue.

I know its not eazy to find the one,
Please excuse yourself from this vocation.

I am not sure when luck would strike,
And I don't know what he would be like.

So let me concentrate on my work and life
Rather than becomming someone's wife.

I have lots of dreams to work hard on,
Wedding is something I haven't thought upon.

Instead, let time do the trick,
Unwed, I won't turn into a maverick.

A Frequent Phone Call

2009-03-29T16:23:00.004+05:30

My dear, it has been a long time,

What have you been doing all this while?

Hows life, work and your health?

I've heard you have put on a li'l weight.

Twenty Four and a few months old,

Dear,It is the right time to buy you gold.

Go get indulged in a beauty treatment,

Thats the first step to guy procurement.

Later, get hold of a photographer,

Who can make you a few shades lighter.

Get it clicked and your work is done,

And I'll do rest of the exertion.

I have a few guys waiting in queue,

Let me know the kind that interests you.

To find a perfect match is not so eazy,

But you say you're always buzy.

Take out time from your tile,

And check out the guys profile.

I'll arrange a meeting when you like,

And rest would depend on your choice.

I'll be happy to see you settled soon,

With your hubby and kids around.

The Realisation-55 Fiction

2009-03-16T23:13:00.004+05:30

He was a grown up boy.He was allowed to walk down from school alone.It was something he could boast about to his classmates.

Little did he know that mom and dad didn't have time for him.He realised that,as he grew up, all alone in the fancy mansion, being pamperd by servants.

Kabhie Alvida Na Kehna( Please Jaldi Kaho)

2009-02-26T19:23:00.035+05:30

UPDATE : March 03,2009

Finally, I had to give that speech.Today was the day and I was the chosen one.While saying all that I mentioned below,I was constantly remembering what I had written in between the lines.A few of my team-mates read my blog, so I avoided eye contact with them so that I can make it all look real without any goof-up.Thankfully, I managed:-)

I forgot to say a few Thank-Yous as I was in a real hurry to finish it off.So, later I smsed those to concerned people:-)

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Post for Feb 26,2009

For my friends who don't know hindi, the title of the post is- Never Say Goodbye(Please say it as soon as possible)

I have finally been released from my project and following is what I would have spoken as a farewell speech(which didn't happen at all for reasons I am not aware of) But I am glad it did not happen, and you would know why,once you go through what is coming up next.

Good Evening Everyone ! (Thank God I won't have to fake this smile again)

Well, as you all might be knowing, today is my last day in this project (Thank God,for showing me this day)

Saying goodbye has never been eazy for me(It is an exception this time, I was looking forward to it since long )

But some things cannot be avoided (Too good, who wants to avoid this?)

It was a great experience working here (You all know this was a lie)

This was my first project( Yes, it was.Some people like playing with other's careers)

I have learnt a lot here (I have only learnt what I wrote here)

It was fun working at nights (It gave me a legacy for life, called Migraine )

I enjoyed the late night drives from Office to home ( Praying that I meet with an accident and don't have to come the next night)

But all good things come to an end (And even not so good things.Yippieeee!!!)

Now, I have been allocated to another project(Hardwork pays for sure! )

Before leaving,I would like to thank my Managers for being a pillar of support for me( U know everything about them!If not, refer to previous post)

I cannot end this before naming a few people who helped me a lot (Thankfully, there were some people like that- a big Thank you to them)

I would really miss you all (Naaaaaaaaaaaaaa okay okay, a few of you,really few)

I had a great time working here(I was waiting to be released since day 1!)

Thats all...Keep in touch.(Don't bother to disturb me)

P.S. I have got a new assignment, which I am really looking forward to.Finally, I
have got the work that I always wanted to do.

That Species Called "Manager"

2009-02-17T21:24:00.014+05:30

I am going to think "out of the box" today! And that means,I'll finally be able to please the creatures called "Managers" .These creatures can be found anywhere on earth, and in plenty.Darwin's theory doesn't apply to them.Fittest or not, they manage to carve a niche for themselves and live in harmony with bigger fish and smaller fish.But there is a catch there, the fish that I am talking about should be of the same species!

There are a number of sub species of Managers.Each species has some minor diferences in their character, but when looked from a broader point of view, They are all Managers.They can be classified into the following groups-

Know It All - They really know it all.No I am not kidding.Although this species of Managers is hard to find but it exists.They exist today only because of some other qualities they possess, which not many people come to know.

Pretend To Know It All - This species exists in abundance.You would find one of this kind without much of effort.I am usually struck with this kind :-( This species is dangerous to human kind because you know "Little knowledge is dangerous".You would get into trouble very easily if you rely on them.It is better to stay away from this species.

Blah Blah is the key - This species can be classified as a sub species of Pretend To Know It All Managers.Blah Blah is the key kind of managers keep blabbering till the end of eternity.It is good to keep a safe distance from them because they generally would make you do anything they like (Even if you hate to do it) by hook or by crook.They would make you feel as important as the Prime Minister even if you're just sweeping the floor.And they do that because they want you to sweep the floor perfectly.

Chamelions - Oh you are familiar with this kind.I know you have seen them everywhere.It is another abundant species of Managers."Politics is the key to success" is their thumb rule! Do I need to elaborate?

Sandwiched - Well, this species of Managers won't be able to harm you,even if they want.They are the ones sandwiched between Seniors and Juniors.Their juniors dont give a damn to what they say, and neither do their seniors.They are more or less like puppets!They are there to prove their existance to you, and would do anything for getting visibility.And to top it all,these are the most frustrated ones...Frustrated with just about anything in the world

And last but not the least,

Sportsmen - They are the ones who always come on the surface to take credit of things done by other species(Not Managers) and won't be found in the vicinity while taking a blame or accepting a mistake.I term them Sportsmen because they would run fast enough to take credit or to shy away from blunders.

Well, I am still working on this thesis of mine...Would keep you updated as I find more and more sub species of Managers.This is an on going research and I would be more than happy to know if you have any experience with a species that I missed out.In that case,Please enlighten me!

You've Got Mail

2009-02-09T23:26:00.005+05:30

Dear S

I know you have been caught by surprise! So how did you find seeing my name in your inbox after so many years? I don't even remember the last time I wrote to you or talked to you....Or as a matter of fact, even thought about you.

But as some wise men say, better late than never.Hope all is going great at your end and life has not been able to change you, buddy.Somehow, I can still see you wearing those glasses,concentrating hard on that painting you wanted to complete in a few hours.I bet you still have those old fashioned spectacles with you...You loved them a bit too much to abandon them for a lifetime!

I want to keep this short and sweet although I have lots and lots of updates to share with you.But, some other time! O my God, U still read between those lines!!!!! (yes of course, you were right,some other time means when you reply to this mail and I get a confirmation that you still exist and use the same email id.)

Take Care
Love Always,
A

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear A
Thanks a lot for your mail.You were right,I was shocked when I saw your mail popping in the inbox.But this is not S but his wife P.

I am sorry A, your being late is as late as never.

S is no more.Finally, those spectacles have been abandoned.:-(

Regards,
P

Do Not Disturb

2009-01-31T18:06:00.015+05:30

And the alarm goes TRINGG

Hmmm, I think I am still sleeping.

So I let it snooze,

Coz I want to catch another doze.

Careless about the time,

And of course sloppy about the occasion.

I get back to my illusion,

With full determination.

Unconsciously, I expect

And involuntarily , I hope

To resume my delusion

Exactly from the point of interruption.

Sometimes I am lucky,

To restart the movie.

But sometimes I am not,

And the visions are lost.

And it goes TRING again,

But I want it to refrain.

From pushing me to reality,

With all its veracity.

And I finally I lose the battle,

Willingly, without my will.

And the reality bites me with all its force,

As I start another day's course.

Yet Another Comeback!

2009-01-29T22:54:00.012+05:30

Thanks to my saviour, I am finally back to where I belong :-)

Thanks for posting all the comments even while I wasn't here...It feels rather great to know that I was being missed. ;-)

www.NewHome.com

2008-09-13T13:41:00.009+05:30

Well, this is not a post but just an update from my side.I m shifting to a new place, so I wont be available till I manage to get a net connection there...Missing you all already :-( I wanted to write something about my experiences all through the "house hunting and shifting to a new place" phase but I dont have enough time for that right now...May be later.

A Smile To Remember

2008-08-30T18:12:00.016+05:30

He had to leave early today...The thought that he would leave at 5 today,made him work more efficiently.He completed the tasks assigned to him for the day,and made sure that no new assignments would come up. ;-)

He rushed through his mailbox, sent the status mail to on-site and then finally made sure that his Project Manager was not around.And as soon as the clock struck 5,he left the desk, leaving his comp on so that people get the impression that he is still around.He usually worked till late and going home early was not a norm there...But today, it was an exception...He smiled at the thought of being at home at 6! After-all, it was after months of working late at office that today he was leaving early!

He decided to meet an old friend for a cup of coffee before leaving.That was a nice thought.They met and had a nice 15 min chat( n that's a bit too long for guys!) Then he finally decided to leave for the parking, where his sweetheart was waiting for him, carrying his helmet and rain suit that he kept on her for drying.It had rained in the morning when he was coming for office.And after reaching, he had put his wet rain-suit on her,so that it could dry by the time he is ready to ride her again.

Oops he forgot to swipe out, he realized just after he had left his building and was on the way to the multilevel parking lot.His office was a masterpiece in itself, a huge campus with many buildings surrounded by the lush green lawns.He would swipe out in the building next to the parking lot.( Swiping in while coming and swiping out while leaving were mandatory activities, as they were used to deduce daily attendance)

Entering another building so that he could swipe out for the day, he was filled with thoughts of home.He was wearing that infectious smile that could make people forget their immediate sorrows and smile for a while with him.Like I do:-)

People were still busy with their work...But she had had enough of it for the time being and wanted to take a break.So she decided to come outside of the workstation and have a look at the nature outside, by sitting comfortably at those couches kept at the reception area of her building.She was enjoying being away from her comp but was preoccupied with thoughts of work...

It had been a hard day for her...And she knew it was not yet over.She wanted the day to come to an end as soon as possible.She wanted to go home and sleep, and sleep, and sleep.But that was a far cry, for now at-least.

It was calm here.Entirely opposite to the atmosphere inside which included ringing of phones, gossiping females, sounds of coffee machines and printers and what not.She was loving it here...She could be with herself for a while,though she had a mug full of coffee to accompany her thoughts!

She was thinking that coming out of her cubicle had been worthwhile...She got her inner calm back, plus she noticed this cute guy coming towards her...Wow, what a break it was.She could not have asked for anything more!

He was coming towards her, with an infectious smile that made her smile back at him.But she was glad that he didn't notice that.He was in a kind of a hurry,and was swinging the keys of his bike while coming towards her ,at a fast pace.Finally, he noticed this cute gal sitting near his destination.He checked her out quickly.Hers was a face he would remember for a long time...there was something about her that he liked,but could not make out what it was.

With her thoughts in mind,And taking a quick glance at her, he finally swiped out.As a matter of practice(and coz sometimes the swipe may not get recorded) he swiped out once again, looking at her.But now, she was smiling too...An infectious one, from ear to ear.And he could see that...Their eyes met, and smiles flew freely!

Just then he realized the cause behind the big smile she had given! Looking at her, he had swiped in again,instead of swiping out!!! And that meant that he was reaching office at 5:15 pm and he had nullified the days work!

A Walk To Remember...

2008-08-24T00:24:00.016+05:30

And suddenly, a strong breeze started blowing.It was all dark everywhere as there were no stars to enlighten her path...Sky was covered with clouds all around.She was tired now.But the strong zephyr had made her walk easier,she was freely flowing with it, as if without any effort.

It was the longest walk ever.She could not even remember exactly how long she had been walking now...No stars meant she could not even keep track of time.She used to be afraid of darkness when she was a child.But then life had given her enough obscurity, at such a tender age that now it did not matter whether it was dusk or dawn.All she had to do was carry on.

The sound of the leaves crumbling and brushing against each other was the music she was used to hearing.Dry leaves paved her path.She herself was her only companion today.The wind grew stronger and stronger and the night grew darker.She had to tie her hair to prevent them from strongly brushing against her face.That was something she did not like at all....She liked her hair to be open...free as the wind.

And she didnt know how long she had to saunter to reach her distant destination.It seemed like eternity.But she had still not lost the will.The sensation of triumph got her going on and on.It was her duty and she had to manage it, all alone.And now,with nature playing the villion's part, she had no one to succomb to.

It started raining.But she could not afford the shade of the trees on the way...She had to move on, and on.With adversity, by her side and all odds accompanying her, she could not even acknowledge the ray of hope that was striving inside her since she had begun.

And finally she reached...

UPDATE

This post is called "A walk to Remeber" instead of the earlier name "Coming for a walk?" I was a bit apprehensive about using the present title coz Rajesh had his latest post by the same name .Rest of the story of 'Renaming' is in the comments section.Thanks,Rajesh :-)

This is going to hurt just a little bit...

2008-08-11T23:02:00.019+05:30

Unending,It flows like a river.
And suddenly,

Penetrates the deepest fraction inside

Generating that unknown quiver.

Is it an interruption?

Is it the end?

Is it wearing out?

Or is it a wrong assumption?

Going gets tough,

With pieces shattered everywhere.

Its difficuilt to mend,

Once it has become nothing but dust.

And broken is the feeling,

No one exactly knows.

How to start afresh,

With a pain thats killing.

Do I have an answer?

Do you know?

Do they discern?

Or do I have to live in distrust?

Wanna share a flat...???

2008-08-01T19:21:00.008+05:30

Well,suddenly I am in a nasty mood today...Dont know what is in store for people who will have to deal with me at this point...I am getting all crazy and 'upto something' but right now I dont have any idea wt this something is all about.It may be a small statement that I may make or it may turn out to be a nasty surprise for people... hmmm, maybe a surprise for me to...Or Maybe I'll get back to my normal self just by bitching about people I dont like.I hope I dont sound irritating!

Well, rather than doing something, Why not get all your opinions and then execute it some other time? Or if I dont have patience to wait that long, I might end up doing today whatever I am going to write here.Will have to wait n watch...Will update you on this after I know what i did,If at all theres some energy and will remaining after posting all the nasty ideas here!

Coming up is a guide for "How To Irritate Your Roomies " I would surely have loved to read a post on that!

1.Sleep out loud... ZZZZ !Its the best thing u can do to irritate your roomie.And that too, you have the advantage of doing that unconsciously!!!

2.Get his/her favourite food when he/she is fasting or already had enough.

3.Leave the lights on everytime for him/her to switch off.

4.Leave the bathroom light on, Mark my words, this creates a bigger irritation.

5.Forget the keys,Ring the bell while coming home late night.

6.Create an issue with every small thing, things that you dont usually bother about.

7.Stare at the screen when he/she is working with the lappy.

8.Pertend that you dont understand a word whats being talked about and its his/her responsibility to enlighten you.

9.Immaturity at its best would irritate him/her a lot.

10.Bring in your parents to stay for longer than a week.

11.Dont care syndrome about anything and everything, as if things are being done on their own! This is the best one I tell you..really works

12.Loud music early in the morning...And by early I dont mean 10 o clock...Thats the time when they'll enjoy it!

13.Using the things they are possessive about, a little too often(that sounds cheap though, but it helps)

14.Talk loud on the phone :->

15. Ask him/her whats wrong even though you know that nothing is actually wrong!

16.Say you never had a problem with your ex roomie after doing things I wrote above.

Following my dosage, You would definitly irritate your roomie and if you succeed, I deserve atleast a chocolate.But at your own risk!!!

Wodrless Wednesday

2008-07-30T17:20:00.004+05:30

Outside my office!!!

2008-07-25T10:03:00.007+05:30

It feels great to see the Blogger-CreatePost page after a long time...and that too not in office but from the comforts of my own room.:-) My phase of hibernation is finally over and I am now back to where I belong, back to where I started from...:-) and this is the reason of all smiles coming up as I write.Its great to be able to play with words again, my favourite sport.

Hmm...It was very difficuilt to stay away...There were moments when I so much wanted to come back here but there was nothing I could really do about it.It was a painful separation and now that I am back, I really dont want to think about it.Wondering what I was upto all these days? Well actually I was struggling to survive,And now that finally I managed,nothing could stop me to come back here.

Getting a lappy was easier that getting a net connection.Thanks to my roomie that she managed...A sweet soul she is...Being here, I get that feeling of being secure and comfortable when you return home after a long spell of being in a distant land...somehow the virtual reality here is better than real and now I know how much I love it.

I used to silently read some blogs during this period of being away, without leaving any footprints...But that was not a regular actvity.And not being able to follow everyone and with each new post made me mad at times.I am in such a state that I dont even know if people are still writing or some blogs are abandoned as mine was, few days ago:-(

I am really thankful to all those who remembered me and checked this space for a new post, left their marks here, even though I was not here to acknowledge and reply.Now on, I am here full time,to write and definitly to leave my marks on your blogs as well.As this second innings start, I wish I stay here for eternity...It gives me such a pleasure,I know everyone here understands that feeling!!!

Read to find out...This is a special Post:-)

2008-04-17T01:58:00.025+05:30

Hmmm...Today is the 1st Birthday of DIRECT DIL SE...:-) Its been 1 whole year since I started...I never had the insight that I would continue for as long a period as 1 year...Although I am not an active blogger since some time now...But I couldnt help but posting today...coz Its a special day for me. Remebering that sudden urge to start DIRECT DIL SE and then sticking to my decision was something that came very naturally that time...and I really miss not being able to write down as frequently as i used to:( Anyways...thats what life is all about...Some things and some people become so much a part of life in no time and then it becomes a struggle to take out time for them....Strange,But True!

Wondering where i was hibernating all these days...have a look and find out for yourself!!!

The First View... "This is my Infy"

This is where I was...24*7,working hard....

My Good Ol Room...:-)

.

Thats what i cant forget ever...The Flaoting Restaurant!

.

The best one-Multiplex

.

Can You imagine Dal Makhni At Mysore?
Thanks to Juneja Uncle, we could have something other than Rice for dinner:-)

Does this need a caption???

.

And the training was over...Left Mysore with a heavy heart but with memories to cherish forever and friends who would be there for lifetime....

My New Workplace

Finally Something Up Here!!!

2008-01-03T20:58:00.002+05:30

Thanks To Sameera for the Bloggers Of The World Award:-) It feels gr8 that I am remembered even though I have been out of the scene for quite a long time now...I m struggling to be back and this award has truly given me the energy and the will to write a post that will soon be here...:-)

I am on my way back...will reach blogvillie soon if I dont lose my way...Waiting to be back

I pass the award to everyone on my blogroll.Congos!!!!!

Rice and Me and Everything Else

2007-11-09T19:14:00.002+05:30

Breakfast...brunch...lunch...dinner...if there would have been another meal in a day, then too I would have got Rice and only Rice here...Rice of different colours...white, yellow and even orangish yellow...this is all I see here.Curd-Rice, Veg Fried Rice,Egg Fried Rice, Tomato Rice,Veg Biryaani, Egg Biryaani and I dont know the anmes of other things they make with rice here.To me, it seems all the same...Its plain old rice..:-(

And the quantity of rice they give goes on increasing from breakfast to dinner...It seems Karnataka govt distributes rice for free.Rice phobia is the right word...i scream whenever i see rice...any colour it may be..it generates the same effect! Hey Doc,,,u listening kya...??

Ummm...I m strugging with food here...every day it seems its a battle to be won when i have to decide what to eat...cant go on surviving on milk and juice forever:-( They all show off like anything that they have North Indian food believe me,,,living in north India since the day I was born, I havent had the kind of north Indian food they give in south India.

But everything else is great...I got my own PC and I am loving it.Its the weekend and finally i am writing a post...it feels gr8 to be back in the blogging world...My workplace is great,things are better than I had imagined.It seems I've got all I ever wanted.Quite happy and not missing home here...but still, I miss my friends.Life has caught up, I am on the fast track now...And I am loving it anyways!!!!

Staying Alive

2007-11-04T15:51:00.003+05:30

Hmmm...today i finally got my login.So here i am.I could'nt contain myself from writing this small entry here, although i know that this is just not an entry.Still...I have lots and lots to write about but there are things that are keeping me occupied...but since, finally i have my system now...i m sure i'll burn the midnight lamp and a post will come soon.

Apologies for not being able to comment on your posts.I'll try and start doing that soon...and here i declare that i am not going to be extinct, no matter what!!! so keep checking this space and u'll find an update soon.Promise.:-)

I've replied to all the comments for the previous post and writing this small one here assures me that the addiction to blogger continues to be a part of me.And It sure feels great to be back, even though only for a while.

Missing u all...

Hugs

Akanksha...

Direct Dil Se

2007-10-24T03:03:00.003+05:30

I am all blank as I start this post.I have been dreaming of writing this 'little something' since a long time.But I had never imagined that it would get as painful as it is now.

The counter until THE DAY on the left sidebar is about to expire...just 6 days and my life is all changed.This series of changes starts from today as I leave the protective and comfortable corners of my home.A new world, new people, new surroundings and a new job.Early morning will mark the beginning of a journey towards a distant destination...and an inner journy towards a different kind of Me.

I've been living away from home since 6 years now...but things feel different this time when i leave home.College is over and living on my own has a different meaning now.I am responsible for everything I do.Having the control of everything around me in my own hands, is a big thing to handle.Considering the kind of careless person I am, I actually have to learn to live.

Advices are flowing freely from every nook and corner.It seems as if everyone around has taken that reliance number for giving free advices.Hmmm...free or paid, I've thought about each one I got, just to realise how much people around me care for me and my well being.From parents to relatives, from cousins to friends, from acquaintances to even my maid...every single person is concerned...and I kind of like that.I am leaving with the realisation of being loved and this is something that feels great.

I cant contain myself from letting you know about one of the best advice I got from a very dear friend.Karuna was a bit too worried for me and here is what she said." For the first few days, keep urself in observation mode, and then get to reaction mode". Dont worry dear...I'll always keep those words of wisdom in my mind.

I started this blog just to keep myself buzy and occupied during the time I was waiting for my Date of Joining with Infosys Technologies Ltd.In a few hours, I am leaving and my job starts from Monday, 29th Oct , 07 at Mysore.Initially, this blog was just a means to calm myself dwon since writing always made me feel better.But,today, I know this is a part of my life.I live , eat, read, sleep, hang out and enjoy here.I am addicted, totally to my blog and to each one in my blogroll.Life woud be incomplete without this integral part of Me.

I dont have any idea when you'll see an update here again.But I know,Akanksha wont be able to live peacefully until she writes.I want to update the blog everyday and let everyone know how it feels to live a dream in reality...Infosys was a dream, and finally I've caught it in my own hands.But I dont know how life would be and if I'll get net aceess as much as Iwould like to.So, here ,I finally declare( with a pain in my heart) that I might take a break.But remember, thats just a possibility...and like the saying goes "Where there is a will, there is a way" who knows I might find a way out and u'd see me here soon.

For the time being, my brother is taking care of the comment moderation.So, u'll find your comments published here,and I'll reply as soon as it becomes possible for me.I'll miss reading your blogs a lot...I feel sad that I'll miss the updates.:-( But again, I'll try my best to visit you all whenever possible.I love you all.Theres a strange kind of attachment I am feeling with you all and I dont wanna let go of the bond we have created through our blogs.Dont forget me please...I'll miss each one of you.

I am already wondering what comments I'll get for this post.And it feels sad that I wont be able to reply as soon as I'd like to.Bhaiya will let me know about each and every comment I get ,on the phone.

Missing you all already...Blogging has become so much a part of life that I'd make all the efforts possible to keep writing and visiting your blogs.

Love you all...Hugs.

Akanksha.

Update

Sameera and Ashu bestoed me with the "Sweet as a Candelid Apple award".U both made my day...this award came at a crucial moment in my life...and it'll keep on reminding me that there are people who miss me while i am away...Thank you both...u've been real sweethearts.>:D<

Wordless Wednesday...

2007-10-17T02:43:00.004+05:30

Wordless Wednesday!

This pic was taken from my bedroom window when i lived in Delhi.Just behind the metro track is the famous Hanumann-Temple with the greens around.An awesome view in the early mornings:-)

"LeT gO" OR "LeT gO nOt" ???

2007-10-14T04:06:00.004+05:30

Hmmm...finally here i am...But its strange that I dont know yet what is coming up here...And even stranger is this that I am already thinking about my next post.I have a clear picture in mind of what the next post would be like....but all is hazy about this one.

I had an intensive cleanliness drive in my room today.And once, I seemed to be too tired to blog.But as I started with reading and commenting, I got that lost energy back and i wanted to post something desperately...And of-course, I am loving my room now.Everything is in its right place today and hopefully, for a few days to come, things wont change.

Today, I realized how much I've clinged up to things in life."Letting Go" is not my way of life.In my cabinets, I have found some really useless things whose fate would have been the dustbin years ago.But they were peacefully resting in my room.I remember, I had kept them purposely, coz I didn't have the courage to throw away some of those things earlier...and some of them mattered a lot to me , a few years back.

Its strange, but I still have not thrown the DTC Bus Pass which is 3 years old now...It was used less to commute to college but for Daily Dilli Darshan.Strings of memories came running down towards me, as soon as I saw this expired document.The date sheet of final year examinations, Fees-recipt slip of final year..which was filled not by me( as always the lazy me), but a dear friend, The invitation to graduation dinner, and many more such irrelevant documents still find a place in my cabinet.And not to mention, letters and more of them, some of which are as old as a decade now.

I even found this old diary that knows all my secrets.It has been like a silent best friend to me.But I couldn't gather the courage to go through coz it would bring back to life some of the forgotten chapters I don't want to include in my present.Hmmmm..even then, I could not contain myself from flipping through the pages...And as I knew...A pic of my dadaji (my loving grand-dad)popped out.

Dadaji...You are still so much a part of life,even though its only in dreams that I get to see you now.I miss those times when dreams were not the only possibility...When it was all real...But no tears today...Smiles are what you want from me, I know.:-) But, still, I am missing you lots.And I always do.I love you dadaji.And i wont ever let you go.

Today, I realized that memories always cling to you, no matter what.They are a permanent part of life and they don't ring a doorbell before entering.After all, I haven't even put a DND label on my door.And i guess that wont work even...memories reside in me...in you...on those walls in my room...and every corner of my space.

A lot can happen over coffee !!!

2007-10-09T03:26:00.005+05:30

Well, just according to their tagline, a lot happened over coffee today at a Cafe Coffee Day outlet.Meeting an old friend for coffee in the evening was something that was in my mind throughout the day.There was so much we had to share with each other.There were 'n' number of advices that she wanted to give me before i leave home for a distant land and start my job.And we had to find time for gossips too- tit-bits of info about who is getting married and who had a break up.

And how could I afford not to go to that famous 'Chat-Corner' in the area.Afterall it was something I missed the most whenever I was out of town for long.Spicy 'bhelpuri' complimented only by the spiciest gossips-wt a combo!!! And then getting over to serious talks, we thought it would be best to compliment it with a hot cuppa coffee at the nearby CCD Outlet.

Off we went.After an initial struggle, we finally managed to get some space at the parking area.But it was a big task accomplished, considering the fact that women can't drive.(So women can't park either)This is something that I consider an axiom which requires no proof.Its just a plain universal fact.

The mess in the parking area and the scene inside was something which made me put the thinking caps.It was desserted, only a single table was occupied.So i guess, people parked their vehicles and went for shopping!!! Thats the only thing i could think of.Silly me

Anyways,it felt good that we finally got a quiet corner, all to ourselves and no interruption. O i forgot to mention, we had already placed the order before we succombed to that cute space in the corner.But things dont usually turn up the way we want, right? Soon, there was this cute guy who came up to us to ask why dont we try the International coffees.A polite refusal would do the trick, I thought.But he was'nt ready to leave...told us about each of the two kinds of international coffee they had.I felt like i was being forced to listen...just the way i used to feel during those boring lectures in college.

Finally he went away.Finally!!! But as soon as i thought he had gone,he was back,with coffee ofcourse.It looked great, with a cute little brown heart in the centre, i just didnt want to add sugar and stir.But since we were not supposed to sit there and stare at those mugs till eternity,I finally added sugar and stirred.The heart dissolved:-(

Hmmm...now we were getting to serious business-Lovelives and boyfriends.And the million dollar question-When is the right time to tell parents.We were somewhere in middle of flowing thoughts...the point when it feels like the current of ideas would take us to a deciding node without much of an effort...Just then, he appeared again, this time asking if we would like some snacks.I felt like spilling the hot coffee on his head.He just wouldnt go,even after umpteenth attempts of polite thanks yous, he was determined to strike us again.The next time he came, he wanted us to buy some choco-chip biscuits.And i wanted to bang his head with the biscuit can.

Finally it was time to leave.Still,there was much left to hear and to say,so we decided to meet again soon.And it wont be CCD again, we both knew that.This guy had ensured that he wont let anything happen over coffee today.:-(

See You Later

2007-09-27T18:57:00.002+05:30

Hello... This is not an update...just wanted to inform that i am going out of town for few days..so wont be able to comment on your posts.

Will be back on 4th Oct. Keep your views flowing on my previous posts till then..here are the links.Enjoy!!!

I started blogging like this...

And it continued like this...

Have a nice time. Take care and happy writing!!!!

बस यूँही

2007-09-25T03:24:00.002+05:30

उसने पूछा
आज जल्दी कैसे आ गई,पहला लैक्चर तो फ्री है।
मैने कहा,बस यूँही
कौन समझाऐ,कि सुबह सुबह तुम्हे देखना था।

उसने पूछा
ब्रेकफास्ट करके क्यों नहीं आई?
मैने कहा,बस यूँही
कौन समझाऐ,कि साथ में ब्रेकफास्ट करना चाहती थी।

उसने पूछा
आज तो तुम्हारे दोस्त नहीं आएँगे,फिर क्यों कौलेज आई?
मैने कहा,बस यूँही
कौन समझाऐ,कि उनसे नहीं तुमसे मिलने आई ।

उसने पूछा
कौलेज आकर भी क्लास क्यों नहीं लगाई?
मैने कहा,बस यूँही
कौन समझाऐ,कि तुम जो क्लास में न आए।

उसने पूछा
सबके साथ लन्च पे क्यों नहीं गई?
मैने कहा,बस यूँही
कौन समझाऐ,कि तुम्हारा वेट जो कर रही थी।

उसने पूछा
आज घर देर से क्यों जाना है?
मैने कहा,बस यूँही
कौन समझाऐ,कि तुम्हारे साथ वक्त बिताना है।

उसने पूछा
अरे ये तीसरी बस भी क्यों छोङ दी?
मैने कहा,बस यूँही
कौन समझाऐ,कि बस की नहीं तुम्हारी जरूरत थी।

उसने पूछा
प्रिपरेट्री लीव में पढाई क्यों नहीं की?
मैने कहा,बस यूँही
कौन समझाऐ,तुम्हारी ही तो सोच में डूबी थी।

उसने पूछा
पेपर तो खत्म,फिर दोस्तों के साथ घूमने क्यों नहीं गई?
मैने कहा,बस यूँही
कौन समझाऐ,तुम्हारे बिना दिल ही लगता नहीं।

उसने पूछा
छुटि्टयों में घर क्यों नहीं जा रही?
मैने कहा,बस यूँही
कौन समझाऐ,कि तुम जो यहीं हो।

Update
Well, this is for my friends who cannot read hindi.I've tried with the translation part but its not as good as the original.:-( Still, here i go...

Just like that

He asked
Why did you come to college early, we dont have 1st lecture today.
I replied, Just like that
Why doesn't he understand, That it is coz i wanted to see him early morning.

He asked
Why didnt you have your breakfast at home?
I replied, Just like that
Why doesn't he understand, That i wanted to have the 1st meal of the day with him.

He asked
Today your friends wont be coming to college, then why did you come?
I replied, Just like that
Why doesn't he understand, That I came to meet him and not my friends.

He asked
Why didnt you attend the lectures today?
I replied ,Just like that
Why doesn't he understand, That it is coz he wasnt attending classes either.

He asked
Why didnt you have lunch with everyone?
I replied, Just like that
Why doesn't he understand,That i was waiting for him.

He asked
Why do you have to go home late?
I replied,Just like that
Why doesn't he understand, That i want to spend some time with him.

He asked
Why didnt u even board the third bus?
I replied, Just like that
Why doesn't he understand, I dont need the buses but i need him.

He asked
Why didnt you study during the preparatory leaves?
I replied,Just like that
Why doesn't he understand,I was burried deep in his thoughts.

He asked
Why arent you going out with your friends after the end of exams?
I replied, Just like that
Why doesn't he understand,That without him everything seems dull to me.

He asked
Why aren't you going home in vacations?
I replied, Just like that
Why doesnt he understand,That Its is coz he is here.

Pieces...Torn Apart.

2007-09-22T03:16:00.003+05:30

She was in her teens...a brilliant student a great person. She had a clear understanding of what she wanted in life and had set many short term goals earlier and successfully managed to crack the bull's eye each time.She was young and confident...ready to achieve her dreams.So one fine day, she told her protective parents that she wanted to go to a big city for further studies.She wanted to prepare for the JEE and that meant going out of her small town to the nearby big city that had coaching institutes which could provide right kind of guidance.Finally, she managed to convince them. And off she went to the nearby city where her uncle lived.

As she opened her eyes,she tried to recollect what had happened.But things were as blurred as possible. She couldn't recognize even one of the faces who were anxiously staring at her, with the sudden happiness that she had finally opened her eyes.Who were they...what was she doing here....in a hospital?

What had happened...??? Why did she had bandages all over.Why was her body aching badly.As she tried to figure out answers to these questions and come back to reality, she started recognizing a few of those faces.They were her parents, uncle and aunt and some of her friends and classmates.Her friends...But where was her best friend S ? If something was wrong with her to such an extent that she was surrounded by so many people then why was her best friend missing?

Suddenly, she came to terms with what had happened.And as soon as she realized, she fired the question which people around her didn't want to answer at all.But they all feared that this would be coming as soon as she opened her eyes.Where is S, she demanded.To which her uncle replied calmly...that she was at home and she is fine.

But she could not sleep that night.As soon as she closed her eyes she saw that horrible accident taking place again and again.And that reminded her of S.Was she fine...she wanted to talk to her.She was the one on the back seat of her scooty...and where are her books and notes which she collected from another friend today...she thought.

Soon,she had to succumb to sleep caused by the medicines directly injected in her blood.It was paining even while she was asleep and she could sense that.Though it was nowhere near a sound sleep...the accident had affected her to an extent that she could see it happening again and again even while sleeping.

Early in the morning, a huge crowd had gathered around S's home.Relatives, neighbors, friends, teachers and acquaintances...all were there.Finally, some people brought S back from the post- mortem house.And now, they were waiting for her 'not so big' big brother to arrive from Delhi so that they could take her to her last journey.Every eye had a tear.Every heart was weeping.

Finally he came and everyone started for the 'Ghat'.Her classmates accompanied.They were a bunch of strong kids who were supporting her family members, holding back their own tears.It sure needs guts to do that.

As soon as she opened her eyes, she asked about S and demanded the cellphone to talk to her.But was there any way to make that conversation possible? Her constant questions were getting more and more difficuilt to handle.So finally, they told her the truth.She had lost her best friend.She wont answer her call now.She wont lend her notes.She wont listen to her talks.She wont even accompany her to the coachings.Never ever had she felt so lonely.Tears came rolling down.

She lost her best friend as the first hospital they were taken to did not attend to her because it was an accident case and the doctors were heartless enough to ask to make a damn FIR before admitting her.Bloddy rules. N Rules are broken everyday in this country but they could not do it to save a child's life.And then they call themselves as God sent angels.

This is a real life incident that took place yesterday.S was a class 12th student and my brother's friend.All the kids are still in a state of shock.The accident took place while they were going for a coaching class.S was very badly injured.A helmet would have saved her life but alas she wasnt wearing it. :-((

S http://www.orkut.com/Profile.aspx?uid=18386168835273334017

Pray for her family and friends who are suffering such a huge loss.And for her,who has lost her best friend and is still in a critical stage.Other kids are visiting her to get the latest updates about her health...They dont want to lose another friend.S's mom asked her whole class to be present for the Puja the day after tomorrow.God give her strength.

May the departed soul rest in peace and may God bless her family and friends with strength to see this day.

PS- I heard that today the Supreme Court announced that doctors would have to attend to accident victims without producing the FIR. Why couldnt this be done earlier??? Sob.

My Days These Days...

2007-09-19T03:54:00.002+05:30

Do I need to write anything else...Hmmm...maybe tomorrow...Sleepy and lazy me!!!

"Finally" seems a small word.

2007-09-15T04:24:00.003+05:30

It feels kind of great...or maybe better than that !!! The stagnation that life brought along is narrowing and giving route to new dimensions.Once it was all blurred and hazy, but today, I can see it all clearly.Its time to live the dreams in reality.Finally:-)

The 'Gray Gloom's' are over.Hmmm, I remember,This phrase was coined by me in the very first post. HERE is what it was exactly like.I have definitely come a long way since then.It was an impulsive decision to start this blog, and that time, I never knew if I would continue writing or forget all about this 'sacred space' as I call it now.I never knew if I would even write the second post.But fortunately, I did. :-)

And today,as I rewind, I am not shy of letting out the exact objective which kept me hooked to writing.It was a rough phase I was going through, and there was exactly nothing I could do but accept things as they were.I was not blessed enough to make a difference.

Today, things are different.Life has finally taken a much awaited turn.My parents and friends finally saw real flashy,effortless and continuing smiles from me throughout the day.I could feel how relieved their hearts were.I know how much they all missed the REAL me during all these days.It was a continuous effort that I had to put to keep smiling,sometimes, I managed...and sometimes, I proved to be a complete failure.They all accepted me both ways...I am glad I am blessed with such loving parents and wonderful friends around...who have proven to be real and true companions for life.

Its a different story today.People who helped me walk one of the toughest paths in my life are really very happy to see me through.The clarity of affairs brought a great happiness to me,I must say, but it increased many folds when I saw those relieved faces and happy hearts.They were happy because I was happy.And today, I learnt that this happiness chain is a big thing.It really is.

The road is clear.Dreams will turn to reality soon.Finally, I've caught the pretty butterfly in my hands which used to slip as soon as i believed it was mine.Storms have settled.The blurry things around me seem so clear and fresh now.I can touch the dream...I have started feeling it.Happiness finally landed in my hands too.Now,finally I know the next and the next to next step in life. I know which road to follow.

I have an increased amount of patience in me now,which would definitely prove helpful in future.I had to learn this lesson of patience some day, and finally this tough chapter of life has come to an end.But I know I'll never forget what "The Points To Remember" at the end of this lesson say.

Its a big day for me today, and a bigger one is coming soon.Today, I have something for which I had been waiting since a really long long time.It is a great deal of satisfaction and relief and of-course happiness and a day i would never ever forget.

As Bhaiya puts it "Your smile is a curve which makes everything in my life straight" I couldn't end this without mentioning you here, my dear big b.More smiles per hour from today...the real ones.

Tagged Again.

2007-09-12T00:39:00.002+05:30

Another tag...quite a lot of them are falling in my pocket these days.But i think i wont be taking up any more for quite some time now.This time, Nags and Rajeev tagged me...so blame them-they are the true culprits behind this strange post.

Here are the rules:

Players, you must list one fact that is somehow relevant to your life for each letter of their middle name. If you don’t have a middle name, use the middle name you would have liked to have had.

When you are tagged you need to write your own blog-post containing your own middle name game facts.

At the end of your blog-post, you need to choose one person for each letter of your middle name to tag.

Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged.

Well, i dont have a middle name...and i wouldn't have liked to have one either...so that means i am exempted from this tag.Yippee...See guys, i tried..i am not at fault!!! Okay,no more wanderinghere and there...i dont think i should leave the post this way, so i'll write this tag with one of the nick-names my friends gave me.When and how this 'naamkaran' ceremony took place is a long funny story which would need another post.

Here i go.They call me CHOTU

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You Are 61% Creative

You are beyond creative. You are a true artist - even if it's not in the conventional sense of the word.

You love creating for its own sake, and you find yourself quite inspired at times.

Your Holiday Personality is Hyper

Any holiday activity is well suited to you - as long as you keep moving.

Shop everywhere and anywhere. Create your own holiday cards. Make everyone on a your list a custom stocking of goodies!

What Your Blue Outfit Means

You're a classic girl with an impeccable sense of style.

Down to earth you project a loyal and honest persona.

You are sweetly feminine - a strong, tough guy can't resist you.

It is Time to Grow Up a Little

You're definitely not a kid anymore, though sometimes it's hard to tell.

Your life is somewhat adult, but chances are, you aren't really satisfied with it.

Whether this means getting a better job or dumping a loser boyfriend...

It's definitely time for you to start living a fully adult life.

An Uptown girl..hmmm???

You love so many things, you don't fit into any one label.

Your city girl persona goes to a fancy restaurant one night and a dive bar the next.

Well...I thought this would be a different way to do the tag...Hope you all enjoyed it.Now, as the rule goes i have to tag others.So here is my list.The faces behind the following blogs are tagged, but its entirely your wish if u want to take the tag...no issues...And anyone else who wants can do it too.Its an open offer!!!!

C - Curryegg
H-Hither-Tither
O-OOps..None i suppose.
T-The Numerous Me's
U-Up,Up and Away.
Enjoy the tag.Cheers!!!!

UPDATE- Well,i dont know from where the Best Blog Of The Day popped into my comment box:-) But it feels great.Its celebration time...finally happniess after that last sad post!!! Yippee...Well, this blog is so much a part of my life, and now a source of my smiles too.See, my new mood on the left sidebar...it depicts how exactly i am feeling now...hava me udd rahi hu...:-)

Cold,Lifeless,Waiting :-(

2007-09-07T04:08:00.002+05:30

The process seems unending,

Only the commas but no fullstop approaching.

An agonising pain dwells in the heart,

Accepting its permanance is a mammoth task.

With every peace before the storm,

There is a little conspiracy born.

Each day repeats itself,

And I struggle with my inner self.

Accepting the defeat which is a result,

Of what I considered my biggest asset.

Life is smooth others believe,

But they don't know how I perceive.

Days and nights and evenings alone,

Dreams were my friends but now they are gone.

Searching for meaning,searching for smiles,

Thats how I walk all those tiring miles.

Waiting in an endless loop,

God,when will I get my scoop?

Although clinging by a thread of hope,

But optimism wants to leave my robe.

I wonder should I let it go,

And to the negative should I bow?

But a voice never lets me callapse,

Puts me together with all the force.

I pray to God to teach me acceptance,

And ask him to grant an overdose of patience.

Once again i get ready to mumble,

With questions which begin to fumble.

Break,Continue or Exit,

Or is it finally time to quit?

Once More Once More-Tagged!!!

2007-09-01T04:03:00.002+05:30

I was tagged by PS.This one is quite different.Here are the rules.

Rule 1: Without changing the first word, after each letter of the alphabet, write a sentence that captures you/your essence.

Rule 2: Tag as many people as you want, but do tag at least one. This is an eye opening experience and can express to those who read it, things about you that they did not really understand before.

Rule 3: List who you are tagging.

*A* Accept with a smile whatever life puts forward.

*B* Break the rule sometimes.

*C* Create a happy atmosphere around you.

*D* Decide whatever needs to be done.Dont postpone making decisions.

*E* Explore the web.

*F* Forgive so that the other person gets a chance to improve.

*G* Grow up someday.

*H* Hope is something on which the world rests.

*I* Ignore the small differences and be united.

*J* Journey makes me dream of destination.

*K* Know your neighbours.;-)

*L* Love is when you want to continue holding hands even when you feel sweaty.

*M* Manage to clean up that almirah or get ready with an excuse.

*N* Notice positive traits in others and negative traits in your own self.

*O* Open the window and let the cool breeze come in.(That was a constant reminder we got from our Maths teacher in school..somehow i havent been able to forget the line...as if opening the window symbolised opening the doors toour brains :P)

*P* Play a sport,dont play with emotions.

*Q* Questions are never stupid but people are.

*R* Relax for a while...and let the mind wander.

*S* Share your deepest fears-They will evaporate.

*T* Try to control your anger.

*U* Use dustbins at public places-roads dont have a USE-ME label attached.

*V* Value your friends.

*W* Work hard,party harder.

*X* XRay scares me.

*Y* Yield to memories that make you happy.

*Z* Zoom in the reality to understand it better.

Well,i enjoyed doing this one! Anyone who wants can take the tag,i assure u'll have a nice time writing the post.Nostalgia returned while i was keying in those sentences..those childhood days when "Make a sentence using the following words" was a regular exercise in english periods.And i remember i enjoyed it a lot during those times too.Hmm..dats all from me for now..Will be back soon.

Cheers!!!

At Your Own Risk

2007-08-30T00:23:00.002+05:30

I am happy i took this tag from Wacko.To start with, i am not pissed off so please don't ask me if there is something wrong because nothing is wrong with me...But sure all is wrong with some people to whom i dedicate this post.I am already feeling better, the idea of typing it all here seems exciting and i cant wait to begin the bitching.Here i start, with the hope that i will end this post in a state of mind that would last for attest some days.

Things That Annoy Me

1."Have you been starving for days to maintain that figure...?" Well, i think you're plain jealous coz the fat doesn't show on me.Hours together at the gym, all the diet plans you follow strictly and avoiding dat ice-cream or chocolate truffle aren't enough my dear...Go starve yourself and u'll be slim one day.

2.People who give their opinions without being asked.When i didnt ask for one, why should i take from you.So,go ahead and mind your own business.

3.Hmmm...Just before going out, if i ask you how am i looking, keep in mind that i've been in front of the mirror n times before i asked you that question.So acknowledging the time and effort it took to dress up, all i should get as an answer is 'Drop Dead Grogeous' or maybe anything better.Dont dare ask me to change that dress.

4.MILK. And if you come up to me with a galss full,i am sure i'll be annoyed of you too.

5.Aaaeee,Aati kya...;-) Kya mast item hai !!! And so amny more i cant write here. At times i feel like shouting some lines back but then what would be the difference between me and those f***ing assholes.They annoy me to the maxima.I am really put off by the cheap lines they throw at gals.

6.People who think that finally getting married and settling down should be the ultimate goal of life for woman and keep telling you that its the right time now.Why should i listen anyways,you are not my mom or my dad and how the hell does it matter to you if i marry or not.Oops, i remember,waiting for that lavish dinner,,,come home some day,i'll treat you with one for no reason at all even if u dont deserve it.

7.People who dont care for their spouse's parents.Your mom and dad are special, they deserve your care and attention but you dont give a damn for his/her parents.Good,everything comes back two-fold...i am waiting for the day your kids get married.

8.People who repeat their mistakes even when they know their mistake is overlooked so that their image doent get ruined.You were never forgiven,i was just keeping shut but repetition makes me go mad and i wont think twice before letting it all out.So beware.

9.Smses from the service provider about a new dialer tone or ringtone of a hit bhojpuri song that i am least interested in.Blame it to Ravi Kisshen and the popularity of Big Boss.And to make it worse, they send me the sms just when i am about to succomb to an afternoon nap.

10.People who make certain kind of noise while drinking tea or eating.Bas Jhingala hoo ki kami thi !

11.People initiating false hopes instead of letting you accept the truth even when they know that things would only get worse.

12.People who borrow books and then consider them their own.Hence they forget to return.

13.People who call after a long time just to say 'Hi..i remember you....how r u dear ' and minutes later i realise what favour they want from me. Huh

14.People who touch my cellphone.I just hate all of you.I dont think there is a valid reason that u think you have to browse my things.

15.People who dont understand how important something may be for others,even if it is just a monotonous daily chore for you.

16.People who allow pets on their beds and possibly any other area of their homes.You love your pet,but i dont...so atleast keep it away from me.

17.People who disappear without a 'bye bye' during a chat session.Atleast learn the basic etttiquetes before you login to an instant messenger.

18.People who say something,think something different..and do something else.Do you think i have no work other than to keep judging what your next move would be.

19.People who ask me "When is your joining date....? Its good you got a nice big break...now dont watse time and enjoy at home, u wont get these days again in life once you start with your job" First of all why the hell are you bothered about when am i starting with my job,afterall i dont ask for a penny from you to support me by the time i join. And secoondly,i dont need that fucking advice to make the most of what time i have in hands.Why dont you just shut up and leave me alone.

20.People who dont respect a girl's freedom.I just hate you.Wake up,,think u are sleeping since years..its 21st centyary man....u need a reminder or what?

Hmmm...OMG twenty already and i can still think of so many more.Maybe I'll post a sequel again after some time.Seems i've bitched a lot and any further continuity would refresh the irritation that i have shed as a result of writing this post.But it sure feels good now.

I guess i've had a good time writing this one.....and felt more and more at ease while i descended down the list to number twenty.Try it guys,this is a good way of letting it all out and you enjoy the Tag! Makes you feel better at the end.

No offense to readers is intended.This post is just an outcome of irritation and things that were piling up within me since some days.But ALL-OUT now. So no mosquitoes around now...so no fear of dangue or malaria.

hee hee PJ,,i know...sorry ;-)

UPDATE

Well,,,Anyone who wants can take the tag from me...and i'll be waiting for your post. Cheers!

Mere Bhaiya...Mere Chanda...Mere Anmol Ratan

2007-08-28T02:39:00.001+05:30

Happy Raksha Bandhan...:-)

Well,this is the best Rakhi gift i got.

http://ideas-decoded.blogspot.com/2007/08/on-rakhi-for-my-loving-sister.html

Brothers are special...and i am blessed by being the 'only sis' :-) and that means a lot of undue advantage and undivided attention and i just love it that way.Hmmm..wanted to put a lot of pics here bt i have to rush now...have to get up early for Raksha Bandhan.

My latest favourite...

All my Brothers are special...each one in his own way...love you all...>:D<

The Reality Show

2007-08-26T05:03:00.004+05:30

Well...hmmm...i am done with all the sotries and make-belief 'fake stuff' that i have been posting sice past some days.This post is all about me...The Real Me.So, all you gonna read here is a part of me and my world...maybe real or my virtual world.

Hmmm..i dont exactly know why i am writing this one...maybe because i was fed up of the 'fakism' around me...or maybe from the 'fakism' i was building around here in my blog.The storytales need to be restricted and lets face the reality.

Hmmm,this is more or less like a diary entry or wtever! I havent posted something since a long time...'Wordless Wednesday' came as a bit of relief.First of all it diminished the guilt of not being able to actually write something( wt they call as a writer's block i guess!!!) and secondly it made me realise that all of u still visit me.And the constant reminder from bhaiya and some dear friends made me write this post today.Even though i had to struggle in the beginning but i hope i'll do a good job.Let me know if i managed!

Blogging has come as a solution to various things in life.Lately, it has been the only aspect in which i havent lost interest yet.And today, as i sit back and wonder about my initial days in the blogosphere, i find lots of changes everywhere.The one change i am proud of is, that i have finally managed to come out of the "sms lingo" (hey..ek -do words to allowed hai na per post).

Not long ago,i considered it cool when i used sms language in my posts...every word was cut short as if i had space restrictions to follow.Like they say 'No Extra Sheets' allowed in examinations!!! huh.But today,words with their correct spellings feel better.I don't know why but i like it that way now.Hey Karuna, u listening..??? no more sms slangs here!!! Wondering where Karuna came from in the mid of this post....well, she is one person whom i have irritated the most by using the slangs.

What next...I never believed in the existance of the virtual world.But today,this virtual world is as true as the real one for me.There are people here whom i have never met...and maybe would never ever meet..but still i care for them in my own strange way.

I was concerned when Dream Catcher said bye-bye.I still miss his posts.It makes me bother about Rajeev when he says in the shoutbox that he is not well and will post as soon as he is fine.I was waiting for a happy and smiling post from Zenab.I continue to imagine how PS manages her home and kids and work and still gets time to blog.I wish best of luck to Curryegg when she says her exams are on.I wonder why Vitruvian vanishes from the blogosphere and i love reading her posts when she bounces back.I admire Shruti for the way she is manging her blog dedicated to airlines, writing interesting posts, all about one single dimension.I was so happy when Prachi told me that she would be coming to my city.And i am still waiting for a bubbly-sweet-humourous post from Neo.Diya Dear inspires me in her own special way,trying to learn big things from small instances.I wonder how Nags mantains three blogs at a time.It makes me feel good that now i even have friends like Rajji from accross the border.And Wacko's philosophies are yet to be discovered.

Friends or maybe acquaintances...we all are a part of ech others lives.(i've tried my best as far as the names are concerned...hope i didnt forget anyone there...but even if i did, you are special in your own way..and for sure have touched my heart with your posts) And hey...i have purposely not put the links to your blogs here...because your names just dont mean a link but much more than that.

Virtual is becomming real...i was bitten by this Reality Bug today.Afterall whatever we all key in here is some how a real part of our past,present or may be our dreams.Right? Thank you all for patiently reading all the crap i post here...i hope u'll come for more.

Wordless Wednesday...

2007-08-22T04:48:00.003+05:30

I couldnt find a better pic for "Wordless Wednesday". This is a rangoli i made with some of my dear friends in college lsat year on the occasion of diwali!!! The colours sure mark the festivities going on during those times...and ofcourse the campus life we all enjoyed which was filled with a million different colours.Hmmm...missing the good old days so much as i ponder over the stories that come to mind when i see the pic above.

This is going to hurt just a little bit :-(

2007-08-16T21:42:00.003+05:30

Null.

Non existant.

Nothing at all.

Unknown,Indefinite.

Who could better understand the meaning of those words than her? 'No' one actually. Even then she tried explaining it to someone she considered really close.Anxiety overtook her.Every other emotion inside her was on the verge of end.She knew it and really hated to accept it.But that was what the truth was.

To her, Null seemed like her mirror image.She thought it was the only perfect word which could describe her in every way.In real sense...she was Null and Null was her.

Every day,she thought the next time would hurt less.She would then be 'used to' the wounds and hence the effect and pain they cause would eventually diminish.Slowly,the agony would vanish and the ache would disappear from her wounds,she believed.

But that never happened.The abrasions never halted.And each new injury added to her soreness.The wounds were of a similar kind, and the notion that she had failed to understand how to deal with them left her broken from inside.Failure after failure,and she could do nothing but to learn to accept them.By now,people thought(and she thought) that she should have learnt to accept them wholeheartedly and maybe with a smile.

Day after day,she used to gather her busted pieces and put them together, to prepare herself for the next injury.His healing touch made her feel better everytime and gave her hope and the will to live.But now,she felt the hope was fading away fast.

Bitter thoughts accompanied her the whole day.Now she thought she was the source of all the turmoil in lives of people close to her.They were sad because she was sad.Yet she couldnt help.

There was no happy ending...still she is suffering and i cant think of any conclusion to her agonies.

Mind It

2007-08-12T15:10:00.002+05:30

This is not a post...bt i had to put this here coz someone(i dont wanna mention names) offended the purpose i have behind mantaining this blog...Well,any type of comments...compliments and constructive criticisms,both are welcome but no kind of personal remarks would be entertained.

TO THAT SOMEONE

I wont tolerate any comments on people coz thats not what i am here for and i dont give that right to anyone to comment on others using my space......Go n do whatever u like on urs..but theres no way u'll be tolerated here.This is my space and i will manage it the way i like.

Sirs and Hers

2007-08-09T01:34:00.002+05:30

She was quite different from her usual self whenever she was with him...But she never wanted to acknowledge this fact.Not yet,she thought.Each day,she was witnessing an intensifying scuffle within herself.The best way out she knew was to keep herself buzy and not let the mind or the heart wonder.But she also wanted to force an 'unbiased' opinion.She wanted to be equitable to her two halves, with one desiring to accept 'it' wholeheartedly and the other wanting to slash out any possibilities of 'it' in her life.

Days went by...She had succeeded in keeping herself buzy, actually busier than she had ever wanted to be.It gave her a certain kind of pleasure and fulfillment whenever she 'thought' that finally she's not thinking about him! What a relief she felt during those moments.But the realisation of the colossal amount of effort she had to put to acheive those moments made her realise something else.Something she knew she was running away from.

She ran faster...provisionally losing all her energy and falling for the 'unwanted' thoughts that were following her.But she had never learnt to succomb to failures.Gathering her broken pieces,she wanted to run again,with all her vigor...ofcourse to be chased(by the thoughts...and maybe by him too)

And the chase soon became a part of her life.She never knew how life would be if the fast-track 'daud' came to an end.But it was something that made her weary and she wanted to rest now.She wanted to decide.She had come full circle.From rejecting that it could happen to her, to today when she is on the verge of believing that it could.Afterall now she thinks its 'not bad'!

She wanted his shoulder to rest her head upon.She knew it was only his loving touch that could provide her solace.Dreaming his dreams would soon become her biggest dream,she knew that.She wanted to give up running.But she wants to consider it all,once again...afterall its not a child's play.She thinks she should 'TALK'. She calls her bestest friend...and finally 'they' decide that its actually 'it'!

And she blissfully loses the chase ,which once she was determined to win at any cost.Finally, the struggle is over and she believes wt her heart had been saying since soooo long.

He likes her.

She is pretty.
He thinks she would be a perfect match.

He is thinking when should he propose....

It took her several days..maybe weeks or months to finally accept it. And it was a matter of minutes for him.

Summer Of ' 07

2007-08-02T04:33:00.002+05:30

Finally, i revert back to the sacred web-space i created for myself.I call it sacred coz straying around here gives me immense peace, satisfaction and pleasure.This is something that complements me, gives me some moments of fulfillness during the dull days.

Anyways...Today i am here for something which has become long time overdue now...i was waiting to write this one since some time and finally today is the day.I've just come back home after a gr8 vacation.As obvious from my previous post, i never wanted it to come to an end...bt its finally all over(although i njoyed an extension period of 3 more more days) And i've brought home memories that i'll chirish forever.

Everything was special about this vacation...the people...the place...the journey...the days...the weather...just everything.I had 15days of unadulterated happiness(n now i think dat was really tooooooo much to have in todays times...not everyone is lucky enough to get that)

For the first few days,i could not believe dat it was real...everything seemed to be a part of some dream sequences i had njoyed during previous nights at home.And the feeling that it wasnt a dream gave me another big reason to be happy about.

I was with two of my dearest bestest friends, and being with both of them at the same time was something i was longing for since really long.I couldnt have asked for something more.Being able to see the three of us together was the best part of the gr8 vactaion i had.

And i liked the place a bit tooo much.So i wasnt able to loook forward to my return ticket which peeped out of my bag everytime, struggling to get some attention from me.But i neglected it perfectly,to be able to keep away from the thoughts of the vacation coming to an end.

No one believes that i used to get up at 7.That was the effect the environment had on me...beautiful clouds peeping inside the room every morning compelled me to wake up...And ofcourse i wanted some "awake" moments with bhaiya b4 he headed to office. :-) Now dats a secret i've revealed here.Ssshhhhhh. Cuddling in my blanket...angdaaiyaan lete lete...it was fun to c him struggling to get ready for office when i was still njoying the laziness.But thoughts of near future flooded my mind during those times...Thoughts of times when i would have to act like him...getting ready for office early in the morning...And once again,i started my day with Infosys in mind.

The days passed by...and now i was having no trouble in believing that it was all real...i was having a gr8 time...Bhaiya and the Bike was the best package(Combo Offer...hee heee) And dere were times i njoyed the ride more than the place i visited.I was pampered whole heartedly...and i enjoyed it thoroughly.

Hmmm, a small confession here...i really loved doing things for bhaiya...dat was my way of telling him dat i care...although dere wasnt ne need to tell.I did those small things for him so that he misses me when i finally come back home;-) Bhaiya, i hope u miss me when u c ur clothes neatly piled up in d almirah...ha ha ha... I am not letting it all out...just this one!

And how can i forget to mention my visit to the Infosys Campus.I consider myself blessed coz i was accompanied by someone whom i consider the whole n sole cause of me being a part of Infy in a few days from now.Yeah...just a few days...and another dream will turn to reality...

Being able to touch the clouds myself was something i wont forget ever...The purity of nature...the serene atmosphere...the sounds of rushing waters...and the mountains painted green...just unbelievably beautiful. Aaahhhhhh...i can c it all as soon as i close my eyes....Beautiful.

All in all...it was the best summer vacation i've ever had.I wanted it to continue forever but that isnt the law of mother nature...and my own mom was also waiting for me to come back home.N now...i sit back and relive those beautiful days in my thoughts and memories.

P.S. For those who are unaware, it was a trip to Pune and neighbouring areas.

Its True :-)

2007-07-23T16:23:00.003+05:30

Abasing the agony
That once was a part of me
Life suddenly becomes beautiful
As I find myself in a world so colorful

The days are bright
And the nights are light
Rains of happiness ,Grains of cheer
Are enveloping me with deepest care

Living the dreams
In reality,I scream
For what i see is difficult to believe
And I ask him to pinch my sleeve

Thank God its all real
Some days ago,it was just a trial
Then I never knew
That dreams do come true !!!

With all my soul and heart
I don't want an end to this part
But everything comes to an end
and good things end much sooner than we comprehend.

Schmooze

2007-07-19T16:33:00.002+05:30

brings the perfect start for this post.To begin with...i am on a vacation...and almost everything is just the way i wanted it to be...although deres someone i m missing badly, bt its a matter of some time now and soon we'll be together...by the time i am njoying everythiing around me...4 a chng,i m havig a gr8 time and deres nothing dats bothering me.Perfect Happiness...and to top it all, i got an award from
Rajeev .Thanks budddy!

Coming to SCHMOOZE...dats wt the award is called.Sounds strange na...had this sudden urge to look for wt this word meant, and this is wt i got as the answer. Schmooze means "To talk in an informl and friendly way about things that are not important"

Important or unimportant...dat hardly matters, as far as i am getting an award for it.Rite?Being praised for something thats a characteristic property of i think all people who blog,is kinda strange...but i thankfully accept it.Afterall, letting our hearts out is exactly wt we all are her for,and seldom it matters whether wt we are talking is imp or not!

As the rule goes, i have to pass 'Schmooze' to five other bloggers...and here comes my list.

Soul Intoxicated
Dreamgalz Nest
Expressions
Curreyegg.com
Just A Mother Of Two

Well...dats all from me for today..will be back soon.Tk Cr

EK hazaroon me...meri behna hai!!!

2007-07-13T02:37:00.002+05:30

Then

“Hello”
“Hi, how are you?”
“I am fine, what about you?”
“I am also good. When did u come to Delhi?”
“I am here since last 4 months...and for another one to go”
“U should have ringed me up earlier na... Anyways, lets meet!! I have exams coming up, lets plan to meet some where in the preparatory leaves.”
“Fine. I am free on weekends, so lets make this Saturday final.”
“Done.”

This was the first conversation i had with my ‘distant’ cousin who was in the same city, but she was quite unaware of the fact that I was also in town.Hmmmm...me, not an outgoing kinda person, was taken away by the colourful nature of my sister. I was waiting for the 'Saturday' like I had never waited for an Indo-Pak cricket match. I ringed her on Thursday to finalize the plan and make sure that dere isnt ne scope of alterations( called postponements)

Finally,it was D-Day.We decided to meet at the well known Regal Cinema building at Connaught Place. The building is quite an old one...but still it is used as a landmark by the commuting people.Considering the popularity and ease of reaching Regal Cinema, we chose it as the place to meet.It has its own strange kind of an aura,and the ambience around fantasises me to an extent.Crowded passage, people waiting to catch a bus(A bus to CP would most definitly pass through Regal-hence the crowd) ,small n big shops around it and the hawkers selling things like belts,wallets,caps,electricals and wt not! Adjacent to the Regal building,are same kind of shops on the either side , like a coffee shop next to the “so-called” 'imported item' shops.

I reached the place and stood in front of the coffee shop as decided. I was already late, but couldnt see her around.Then I got a call that she is still at Dhaula Kuan and will take another 30 mins to reach the place.Traffic was the only excuse she could give.Although i fantasized dat like all the creatures from Venus,she must have got late in dressing up. I utilized the time in the most effective way I do, looking at the passing by gals. Dilli di kudiyaan deserve a line or two here;-) as i dey made the wait-process easier.And half an hour passed by in almost no time.

Ahhh !!!! Finally it was the time and my eyes were looking for her . I got a call. She said “I am standing in front of the cafe, where are you?” And that was exactly what i had to say, "in front of cafe. " But she was on the other side. Unaware of the fact, that there is a cafe on either side of Regal, we were trying to find each other. Then, she asked what I am wearing? “Red and Black Sweater with black jeans.” I asked her to come in front of the main entry gate and after lots n lots of initial confusion, we finally met. This meeting marked the beginning of a chapter in my life which I would like to write with a golden pen!

Now

Well, this is not fiction...My loving bhaiya wrote the "Then" part.And i took the liberty of adding my own title to this post...i am sure bhaiya would have written d same.And no prizes for guessing who the 'colourful' sister is!!! From distant cousins to bhaiya n his sweet,cute,adorable,loving behna..we sure have come a long way and since i dont have a golden pen right now...so let me not go into details of the aftereffects of this strange storytale meeting for the time being.Not going into details but going for a holiday.I m coming bhaiya.... :-)

Hmmm...chk dis out too.Bhaiya sent me:-) This is exactly how the "Now" is like

http://www.esnips.com/doc/98833d92-eeb3-4349-a614-ea3197589145/new4

Being followed

2007-07-10T01:27:00.002+05:30

Straying once again

In the fields,all alone.

Suddenly I saw

Someone accompanying me.

A distinct individual

With a soul as pure

As the morning breeze .

Following me

Through the passage

And through the rivers

Through the ups and the downs

Through the lows and the highs

Still unshakable by the tides of time.

Escorting me,Pampering me

Advicing me,Yelling at me

Loving me,Caring for me

Hurting me, Consoling me.

Sometimes i wonder

If i am really alone

Or being followed

Eeverytime,everywhere

By the someone called 'Thoughts'.

To give me company

Quietly but evidently.

Today, tomorrow and maybe forever

Like an old friend

Like a mentor

Like a wellwisher.

Like a lonely island

In the Sea of Life.

A Girl's Day Out

2007-07-06T03:40:00.002+05:30

With nothing better to do, i finally succombed to the idiot box.But no relief dere too, d saas bahu and saajish saagas made me switch on to the news channels instead.6 months earlier, i would have switched it off rather than straining my eyes(i'll get my new specs tomorrow...and m all excited for the new look!!!) and of course my mind.Hmmm...i owe dis change in me to dese 6 months of boredom n doing nothing dat now i have the patience n time to actually see wts happening around the world and even ponder over things dat stay with me after i logout.(Logout...sponsored by the excessive use of internet!!!)

I dont have any favourites wen it comes to news channels, its all a matter of interest in a particular news which lets me spend a few minutes watching a particular news channel.But all in all, i find all of dem pretty similar.Except India TV.If u r interested in knowing about how some baba cures deadly diseases with wiered ways or about bhuut, pret and atma, den IndIa TV is the channel u should make ur 'Home Channel' -if they start providing dat option in the idiot box!!!

Today, All the news channels were flooded with all kinds of strange incidents from various parts of the country.One was keeping an eye on the efforts being made to rescue a small kid who fell in a 180 feet hole. Another was focussed to tell people about the two amritsari girls who had married 15days ago,and now on the verge of break-up coz the society doesnt understand their love.A third one found out that a 4 year old village girl claims herself to be Kalpana-Chawla.A tale of life after death or rebirth to be precise.Hmmm...digging further, i found some news channel showing dat a newborn girl was burried alive coz she was a girl.And further, dere were dese two girls (looked well educated)who claim dat their mom is their worst enemy and wanted to spend rest of their lives in some Mahila-Ashram rather dan going back home.Another one was airing a story of a girl who was badly hurt by some Road side aashik and was in a serious state.

So, all in all, it was a girls day on news channels today..Some of those incidents took place in metros while some in villages no one has heard of.But that doesn't really make a difference.But I am glad dere wasnt some dowry or rape case to make it all worse.21st century, and our girls still not 'lucky' enough to live the way they want.Some aren't even lucky enough to live.

Follow 1...2...3...and :-)

2007-07-04T03:34:00.001+05:30

Do i need to write??? This picture is sure better dan a thousand words!!! Half the problems of the world would have been non existant if such a help line existed for real...We all need dis.Cmon, u ppl wid a huge ego dere wont agree i know, but i really dont care.

Hmmm...By the time someone starts a real helpline, Keep trying dis one...It'll help.Tk Cr and keep bouncing back for more.

I wish i never wrote this

2007-07-02T03:11:00.002+05:30

Once upon a time...

Lifes not at its best wen one is misunderstood by ppl who matter...n den 'ppl who matter' become 'ppl who used to matter',once upon a time...dats where comes a dead end....when deres no hope to revert back to a beautiful relationship dat once existed for real.Hmmm...it is precisely where i think i am heading to...a dead end.

I am extinguished.Just like spent steam in the engine.And with dis, d desire to make it all work again is dying down.Its a flood of misunderstandings that i have around me which is getting worse dan ever.I've tried to talk to him, tried to clear it out,tried to make him feel better,tried to improve myself,tried not to bother too much about it,and finally tried to ignore too.But nothing worked.Nothing.

Down my favourite memory lane, i always find 'us' together, hand in hand,and happy being dat way.Njoying being with each other, sharing minute details of our lives,cooking up excuses, covering each others mistakes, raksha-bandhan letters,pillow-fights,waiting d whole year to be together for summer vacations and what not...And with all dis, believing dat dere cannot be a tiff between us ever.Hmmmm...but things change.

With every word misunderstood, every feeling considered as pretence, every effort becomming another disaster, I still have some hope.But its a small volatile amount left,dont know if dat'll evaporate considering the heat of situation.The dead end as i call it, may not be very far away from where i am today...but i still hope dat i would never see dat milestone in life.

No more explanations for him.None actually from now on.Once he even understood my silence, and today he doesnt even understand things i dress in words for him.Alas.Sigh.Sob.But dat isnt going to clear the mess i am in.

But i am still hopeful.And i am waiting for dat day when he'll hug me tight and c how all the misunderstandings evaporate in air.It wont be over ever i know...coz wtever we say or do..we'll always remain connected and i'll always love him inspite of everything.

A lesson tough enough

2007-06-30T05:45:00.002+05:30

01.Akanksha, Life wont always be exactly the way you want it to be.
02.Akanksha, Life wont always be exactly the way you want it to be.
03.Akanksha, Life wont always be exactly the way you want it to be.
04.Akanksha, Life wont always be exactly the way you want it to be.
05.Akanksha, Life wont always be exactly the way you want it to be.
06.Akanksha, Life wont always be exactly the way you want it to be.
07.Akanksha, Life wont always be exactly the way you want it to be.
08.Akanksha, Life wont always be exactly the way you want it to be.
09.Akanksha, Life wont always be exactly the way you want it to be.
10.Akanksha, Life wont always be exactly the way you want it to be.
11.Akanksha, Life wont always be exactly the way you want it to be.
12.Akanksha, Life wont always be exactly the way you want it to be.
13.Akanksha, Life wont always be exactly the way you want it to be.
14.Akanksha, Life wont always be exactly the way you want it to be.
15.Akanksha, Life wont always be exactly the way you want it to be.
16.Akanksha, Life wont always be exactly the way you want it to be.
17.Akanksha, Life wont always be exactly the way you want it to be.
18.Akanksha, Life wont always be exactly the way you want it to be.
19.Akanksha, Life wont always be exactly the way you want it to be.
20.Akanksha, Life wont always be exactly the way you want it to be.
21.Akanksha, Life wont always be exactly the way you want it to be.
22.Akanksha, Life wont always be exactly the way you want it to be.
23.Akanksha, Life wont always be exactly the way you want it to be.
24.Akanksha, Life wont always be exactly the way you want it to be.
25.Akanksha, Life wont always be exactly the way you want it to be.
26.Akanksha, Life wont always be exactly the way you want it to be.
27.Akanksha, Life wont always be exactly the way you want it to be.
28.Akanksha, Life wont always be exactly the way you want it to be.
29.Akanksha, Life wont always be exactly the way you want it to be.
30.Akanksha, Life wont always be exactly the way you want it to be.
31.Akanksha, Life wont always be exactly the way you want it to be.
32.Akanksha, Life wont always be exactly the way you want it to be.
33.Akanksha, Life wont always be exactly the way you want it to be.
34.Akanksha, Life wont always be exactly the way you want it to be.
35.Akanksha, Life wont always be exactly the way you want it to be.
36.Akanksha, Life wont always be exactly the way you want it to be.
37.Akanksha, Life wont always be exactly the way you want it to be.
38.Akanksha, Life wont always be exactly the way you want it to be.
39.Akanksha, Life wont always be exactly the way you want it to be.
40.Akanksha, Life wont always be exactly the way you want it to be.
41.Akanksha, Life wont always be exactly the way you want it to be.
42.Akanksha, Life wont always be exactly the way you want it to be.
43.Akanksha, Life wont always be exactly the way you want it to be.
44.Akanksha, Life wont always be exactly the way you want it to be.
45.Akanksha, Life wont always be exactly the way you want it to be.
46.Akanksha, Life wont always be exactly the way you want it to be.
47.Akanksha, Life wont always be exactly the way you want it to be.
48.Akanksha, Life wont always be exactly the way you want it to be.
49.Akanksha, Life wont always be exactly the way you want it to be.
50.Akanksha, Life wont always be exactly the way you want it to be.

I thought it would be the best way to learn this lesson.